WWE Monday Night RAW1993

John Cena:
[about The Rock's promo from the previous week] I guess I was really excited to see him last Monday, but after watching that back, he was... pretty much making fun of me. I... I think I should... I should probably say something about that, right?

[the audience cheers]

John Cena:
Wait... wait, wait, wait. Guys, if I go there, and if I call somebody out, there's only... there's only one way I know how to do it. I haven't... I haven't done it in a long time, but I still do have a degree in Thuganomics.

[the audience cheers again]

John Cena:
You know what? You know what? I think we gotta do this here tonight. I think we have to answer The Rock, I think we have to send a message because if I don't, I won't be able to focus on WrestleMania, I won't be able to focus on Miz. If I don't end this tonight, then all I will hear about is Rocky.

[the audience starts a "Rocky" chant]

John Cena:
So I'm gonna do this once. It's a one-time deal for y'all here tonight. I should probably make sure I've still got it. Hold on a second.

[Cena clears his throat]

John Cena:
[singsong] Yo, yo, yo. No, that's not right.

[Cena clears his throat again]

John Cena:
["thug"-style] Yo. All right, I got my Fresno state of mind, I'm ready to do this.

[the audience pops; Cena pulls a gold chain out from under his shirt]

John Cena:
Let me get my chain out for a second. Finally, The Rock came back and everybody was gettin' with it. 'Till he said I was talking trash, but he would never be specific. It's because I wasn't talking trash, Rock, I was talking truth. You left us hanging high and dry to play a fairy with a tooth?

[the audience pops; Cena gives them a confused look]

John Cena:
And... and then you walk into this ring and tell these people that I'm lame, man? He wore lipstick in "Get Shorty" and rocked a skirt for "The Game Plan". This "Fruity Pebble" that you dealin' with, I'm not your average jabroni. I'm like a big purple pinwheel, Rock, so go ahead and blow me.

[the audience pops]

John Cena:
And you're electrifying, yes. But hang with me, that's just absurd. See, now you gotta tell your family you just got schooled by Barney's turd.

[the audience pops again]

John Cena:
Oh, no, no. Wait, wait, wait. That's your material, you can have your joke back. Just don't go racing to Witch Mountain, Rock, 'cause your mountain is Brokeback.

[another audience pop]

John Cena:
Oh, no, no, no. Wait, wait, wait. Wait, The Rock's new movie, well it's nothing like "Walking Tall". He spends the movie in a bowling alley, polishing my balls.

[yet another audience pop]

John Cena:
The People's Champ? He's never with the people. Rock, your words are see-through. You imitate me every time you leave: for seven years we couldn't see you. And-and-and-and is it Rock or is it Dwayne? Pick a side, come on, son. If I was you, I'd stick with "Rock". 'Cause "Dwyane" ain't got a johnson. And you'll see me at WrestleMania, well then I'll make sure not to miss it. But you ain't gonna whip my candy ass, dude. I'll make sure you kiss it.

[audience pop]

John Cena:
You're the WrestleMania host, Rock. That's your role, know it. You tell these people that you love 'em. I'm here every week to show it.