| "It's not good to let any KID near a container that has a skull and crossbones on it, because there might be a skeleton costume inside and the KID could put it on and really scare you." »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts |
| "In America you can go on the air and KID the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and KID the people. Personal relations are the important thing for ever and ever and not this outer life of telegrams and anger." »Edward Morgan Forster |
| "I was the KID next door's imaginary friend." »Emo Phillips |
| "I was so naive as a KID I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing." »Johnny Carson |
| "Life loves to be taken by the lapel and told, 'I'm with you KID. Let's go.'" »Maya Angelou |
| "Frankly, I think the chances of having a happy childhood while you're still a KID going through it are pretty slim." »Edith Ann |
| "Let's not KID ourselves. Whatever we diagnose, most patients, if they don't die, get well by themselves. Our job is mainly to try to make them feel better do no harm." »Andrew Schneider |
| "If you ever have to steal money from your KID, and later on he discovers it's gone, I think a good thing to do is to blame it on Santa Claus." »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts |
| "What starts the process, really, are laughs and slights and snubs when you are a KID. ... If your anger is deep enough and strong enough, you learn that you can change those attitudes by excellence, personal gut performance." »Richard Milhous Nixon |
| "Children need encouragement. So if a KID gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way, he develops a good, lucky feeling." »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts |
| "When I was a KID, I said to my father one afternoon, 'Daddy, will you take me to the zoo' He answered, 'If the zoo wants you, let them come and get you.'" »Jerry Lewis |
| "The imaginary friends I had as a KID dropped me because their friends thought I didn't exist." »Aaron Machado |
| "I was coming home from kindergarten--well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had been working in a factory for ten years. It's good for a KID to know how to make gloves." »Ellen DeGeneres |
| "A child develops individuality long before he develops taste. I have seen my KID straggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory an empty gin bottle." »Erma Bombeck |
| "If your KID makes one of those little homemade guitars out of a cigar box and rubber bands, don't let him just play it once or twice and then throw it away. Make him practice on it, every day, for about three hours a day. Later, he'll thank you." »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts |
| "A student is not a professional athlete. ... He is not a little politician or junior senator looking for angles ... an amateur promoter, a glad-hander, embryo Rotarian, caf-society leader, quiz KID or man about town. A student is a person who is learning to fulfill his powers and to find ways of using them in the service of mankind." »Harold Taylor |
| "Batman You killed my parents. The Joker What What What are you talking about Batman I made you, you made me first. The Joker Give me a break. I was a KID when I killed your parents. When I say I made you you gotta say you made me. How childish can you get" »Batman |
| "If a KID asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is 'God is crying.' And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is 'Probably because of something you did.'" »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts |
| "Ring Announcer What's your name KID Peter The Human Spider. Ring Announcer That's it The Human Spider That's the best you've got Peter Yeah. Ring Announcer Well that sucks." »Spider-Man |
| "Ace The town will never be the same. After the Tangiers, the big corporations took it all over. Today it looks like Disneyland. And while the KIDs play cardboard pirates, Mommy and Daddy drop the house payments and Junior's college money on the poker slots. In the old days, dealers knew your name, what you drank, what you played. Today, it's like checkin' into an airport. And if you order room service, you're lucky if you get it by Thursday. Today, it's all gone. You get a whale show up with four million in a suitcase, and some twenty-five-year-old hotel school KID is gonna want his Social Security Number. After the Teamsters got knocked out of the box, the corporations tore down practically every one of the old casinos. And where did the money come from to rebuild the pyramids Junk bonds. But in the end, I wound up right back where I started. I could still pick winners, and I could still make money for all kinds of people back home. And why mess up a good thing" »Casino |
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