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"History is one war after another with a bunch of murders and natural disasters in between." »Sarah Vowell, Assassination Vacation (p. 208)
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"Self awareness is NOT just a bunch of amino acids bumping together." »Robert Anson Heinlein
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"A man always remembers his first love with special tenderness, but after that he begins to bunch them." »H. L. Mencken
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"Love your enemies just in case your friends turn out to be a bunch of bastards." »R. A. Dickson
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"That's the whole problem with science. You've got a bunch of empiricists trying to describe things of unimaginable wonder." »Bill Watterson
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"A critic is a bunch of biases held loosely together by a sense of taste." »Whitney Balliett
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"When you die, if you go somewhere where they ask you a bunch of questions about your life and what you learned and all, I think a good way to get out of it is just to say, 'No speaka English.'" »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
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"If you were a poor Indian with no weapons, and a bunch of conquistadores came up to you and asked where the gold was, I don't think it would be a good idea to say, 'I swallowed it. So sue me.'" »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
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"As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than a bunch of honking and yelling Sometimes it seemed that way." »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
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"Harry Yeah I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something, I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention." »Dumb & Dumber
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"No great thing is created suddenly, any more than a bunch of grapes or a fig. If you tell me that you desire a fig, I answer you that there must be time. Let it first blossom, then bear fruit, then ripen." »Epictetus
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"If you're an archaeologist, I bet it's real embarrassing to put together a skull from a bunch of ancient bone fragments, but then it turns out it's not a skull but just an old dried-out potato." »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
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"I think a good novel would be where a bunch of men on a ship are looking for a whale. They look and look, but you know what They never find him. And you know why they never find him It doesn't say. The book leaves it up to you, the reader, to decide. Then, at the very end, there's a page you can lick and it tastes like Kool-Aid." »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
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"Our banking system is like a bunch of kids stealing from the cookie jar, and when the central bankers are questioned about it, they lie, or they say they're doing it for our own good - and then we keep putting cookies in the jar - and keep allowing them to steal - when all that's really happening is they're getting a free snack on us. They don't even have to be on their best behavior to get the treat!" »John Rocco Savalli
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"Tony Montana What you lookin' at You all a bunch of f***ing assholes. You know why You don't have the guts to be what you wanna be You need people like me. You need people like me so you can point your f***ing fingers and say, That's the bad guy. So... what that make you Good You're not good. You just know how to hide, how to lie. Me, I don't have that problem. Me, I always tell the truth. Even when I lie. So say good night to the bad guy Come on. The last time you gonna see a bad guy like this again, let me tell you. Come on. Make way for the bad guy. There's a bad guy comin' through Better get outta his way" »Scarface
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"Despair is like a cable that is buried just under the surface of the ground. You pull it up and pull it up, but that cable just keeps right on going, clear across a field, until you come to a bunch of guys who are burying the cable. Then just walk up to them and go, 'Hey, have you seen Fred' And they'll say, 'Fred who' And you say, 'Fred of snakes' Then cover your ears, because big laughs are coming." »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
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"Merrill Morgan, this crop stuff is just about a bunch of nerds who never had a girlfriend their whole lives. They're like thirty now. They make up secret codes and analyze Greek mythology and make secret societies where other guys who never had girlfriends can join in. They do stupid crap like this to feel special. It's a scam. Nerds were doin' it twenty five years ago and new nerds are doing it again." »Signs
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"Life's dirty. Life's unclean you know. It's birth, it's sex, it's the intestinal tract. One big squishy, unsanitary mess. It never gets any cleaner either. You know, dust to dust, worms crawl in, worms crawl out, right Even though we know that, we still walk the walk, we still live the life. We're like a bunch of little kids. Little kids, you know, we jump in this big old pond of mud and we're slapping it all over our face, rubbing our hair all down our backs and we're making these glorious, gooey, mud pies. That's us." »Andrew Schneider
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"What is it about genus arboretum that socks us in the figurative solar plexus We see a logging truck go cruising down the road, stacked with a bunch of those fresh-cut giants, we feel like we lost a brother. Next thing you know, we're in The Brick, we're flopping money down on the bar. Wood. We're under a roof. Wood. We're walking the floors. Wood. Grabbing a pool cue. That's wood. Our friends in the forest carry a set of luggage from the mythical baggage carousel. Tree of life, tree of knowledge, family tree, Buddha's Bodhi tree. Page one of life, in the beginning. Genesis 322. Adam and Eve. They're kicking back in the garden of Eden and boom, they get an eviction notice. Why is that Lest they should also take of the tree of life, eat and live forever. A definitive Yahweh no-no. Be good to yourself, go out and plant a wet one on a tree." »Diane Frolov
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| BTW, Why won't you become an editor? |
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