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Be careful what you pretend to be because you are what you pretend to be. – Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
It is important to live each day with a positive perspective. It is not wise to pretend problems do not exist, but it is wise to look beyond the problem to the possibilities that are in it. When Goliath came against the Israelites, the soldiers all thought, 'He's so big, we can never kill him.' But David looked at the same giant and thought, 'He's so big, I can't miss him.' – Dr. Dale E. Turner
To know that you do not know is the best. To pretend to know when you do not know is a disease. – Lao-tzu, The Way of Lao-tzu
The greatest way to live with honor in this world is to be what we pretend to be. – Socrates
If I could master the art of appearing confident, if I could convincingly pretend to know what I'm talking about when I don't, I'd be rich by now. Very important skill, bullshitting. – Tami Cohen
If you're at a Thanksgiving dinner, but you don't like the stuffing or the cranberry sauce or anything else, just pretend like you're eating it, but instead, put it all in your lap and form it into a big mushy ball. Then, later, when you're out back having cigars with the boys, let out a big fake cough and throw the ball to the ground. Then say, 'Boy, these are good cigars' – Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
A funny thing is if you're out hiking and your friend gets bit by a poisonous snake, tell him you're going for help, then go about ten feet and pretend YOU got bit by a snake. Then start an argument about who's going to get help. A lot of guys will start crying. That's why it makes you feel good when you tell them it was just a joke. – Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
I am an agnostic; I do not pretend to know what many ignorant men are sure of. – Clarence Darrow
I cannot pretend to feel impartial about colours. I rejoice with the brilliant ones and am genuinely sorry for the poor browns. – Winston Churchill
I consider it a public duty to answer falsifications with facts. I will not pretend that I find this an unpleasant duty. I am an old campaigner, and I love a good fight. – Franklin Delano Roosevelt
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure--that is all that agnosticism means. – Clarence Darrow
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment, to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all agnosticism means. – Clarence Darrow, Scopes Trial, 1925
I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure-that is all that agnosticism means. – Clarence Darrow
I don't pretend to have all the answers. I don't pretend to even know what the questions are. Hey, where am I – Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
I don't pretend we have all the answers. But the questions are certainly worth thinking about. – Arthur C. Clarke
I enjoyed my own nature to the fullest, and we all know that there lies happiness, although, to soothe one another mutually, we occasionally pretend to condemn such joys as selfishness. – Albert Camus
If I was a cowboy in a lynch mob, I think I'd try to stay near the back. That way, if somebody shamed us into disbanding, I could sort of slip off to the side and pretend I was window-shopping or something. – Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
If there is one thing worse than being an ugly duckling in a house of swans, it's having the swans pretend there's no difference. – Teena Booth
If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and your friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming. – Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
If you pretend to be you, you will inevitably be unmasked. – Leslie Miklosy
In our society those who are in reality superior in intelligence can be accepted by their fellows only if they pretend they are not. – Marya Mannes
In such moments I can't escape the truth that I'm not coping as well as I pretend to be. – Dean Koontz
Most people have seen worse things in private than they pretend to be shocked at in public. – Edgar Watson Howe
Never pretend to a love which you do not actually feel, for love is not ours to command. – Alan Watts
Of course I don't always enjoy being a mother. At those times my husband and I hole up somewhere in the wine country, eat, drink, make mad love and pretend we were born sterile and raise poodles. – Dorothy DeBolt

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