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A politician will always tip off his true belief by stating the opposite at the beginning of the sentence. For maximum comprehension, do not start listening until the first clause is concluded. Begin instead at the word "but" which begins the second, or active, clause. This is the way to tell a liberal from a conservative -- before they tell you. Thus: "I have always believed in a strong national defense, second to none, but ... " (a liberal, about to propose a $20 billion defense cut). – Frank Mankiewicz
For mad scientists who keep brains in jars, here's a tip Why not add a slice of lemon to each jar, for freshness. – Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
He who tip-toes cannot stand he who strides cannot walk. – Lao Tzu
Here's a good tip for when you go to the beach A sand dollar may look like a nice cracker that someone left, but trust me, they don't taste like it. – Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Let your life lightly dance on the edges of Time like dew on the tip of a leaf. – Rabindranath Tagore
Tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles. – Frank Lloyd Wright
Too bad you can't just grab a tree by the very tip-top and bend it clear over the ground and then let her fly, because I bet you'd be amazed at all the stuff that comes flying out. – Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

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