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When she was a small girl, Amanda hid a ticking clock in an old, rotten tree trunk. It drove woodpeckers crazy. Ignoring tasty bugs all around them, they just about beat their brains out trying to get at the clock. Years later, Amanda used the woodpecker experiment as a model for understanding capitalism, Communism, Christianity, and all other systems that traffic in future rewards rather than in present realities.
– Tom Robbins
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When shit becomes valuable, the poor will be born without assholes.
– Henry Miller
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When sleeping next to a deepfreezer it's not just the cold that keeps you awake but also the noise it makes.
– Frustrated husband
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When small men cast long shadows the sun is going down.
– Venita Cravens
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When so many are lonely as seem to be lonely, it would be inexcusably selfish to be lonely alone.
– Tennessee Williams
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When Solomon said there was a time and a place for everything he had not encountered the problem of parking his automobile.
– Bob Edwards
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When solving a "panic" you must first ask yourself what you were doing that could possibly frighten an operating system.
– Peter van der Linden
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When solving problems, dig at the roots instead of just hacking at the leaves.
– Anthony D'Angelo
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When some people give up on you, and they were just the last persons you thought they would. That would make you pause and think, wouldn't you have felt better if you just have adjusted your abundance..?
– The wise Pharoah Moe
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When somebody calls you stupid, if your face turns red from anger, it means that a part of you believes in this! When you call a wise man stupid, his colour never changes!
– Mehmet Murat ildan
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When somebody criticise you, be happy and thankful because they have given you an opportunity to think about the matter more precisely and more detailed!
– Mehmet Murat ildan
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When somebody speaks a language that we don’t know, we often imagine that some important things are being said!
– Mehmet Murat ildan
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When someone allows you to bear his burdens, you have found deep friendship.
– Real Live Preacher
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When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
– George Carlin
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When someone does something good, applaud You will make two people happy.
– Samuel Goldwyn
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When someone does something good, applaud! You will make two people happy.
– Samuel Goldwyn
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When someone explains their own beliefs by reason and explains your beliefs by psychology, you actually don't have to listen to them.
– Rabbi David Wolpe
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When someone is crying and her heart is torn, be an angel of kindness and help her to carry on.
– Debasish Mridha, M.D.
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When someone is giving you their theology, their God words, you should listen hard and be very gentle. The time to deliver your God words is when you are asked.
– Real Live Preacher, Real Live Preacher weblog, 03-25-05
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When someone offends you, it simply means that you haven’t given him enough love.
– Vikrant Parsai
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When someone tells you something defies description, you can be pretty sure he's going to have a go at it anyway.
– Clyde B. Aster
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When someone who is known for being comedic does something straight, it' s always 'a big breakthrough' or a 'radical departure.' Why is it no one ever says that if a straight actor does comedy Are they presuming comedy is easier
– Carol Burnett
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When something (an affliction) happens to you, you either let it defeat you, or you defeat it.
– Rosilind Russell
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When something bad happens, this often opens the ways for some good things to happen!
– Mehmet Murat ildan
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When something can be read without effort, great effort has gone into its writing.
– Enrique Jardiel Poncela
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