[on phone] How about this: you keep him there a little longer, and when you get to the party, I'll point out which of my friends are easy.
[long pause] Don't toy with me, woman.
I've got a hot former fat girl with no self-esteem, I got a girl who punishes her father by sleeping around, and an alcoholic who's two tequila shots away from letting you wear her like a hat.
Thy will be done. [Hangs up, takes out granola bar with peanuts, to which he is allergic, and looks to his crotch] I'm doing this for you, little buddy.