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In the arts of life man invents nothing; but in the arts of death he outdoes Nature herself, and produces by chemistry and machinery all the slaughter of plague, pestilence, and famine.

– George Bernard Shaw

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In this world there is always danger for those who are afraid of it.

– George Bernard Shaw

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The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post.

– George Bernard Shaw

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We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.

– George Bernard Shaw

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We must make the world honest before we can honestly say to our children that honesty is the best policy.

– George Bernard Shaw

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We should have had socialism already, but for the socialists.

– George Bernard Shaw

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A dramatic critic is a man who leaves no turn unstoned.

– George Bernard Shaw

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A lifetime of happiness! No man alive could bear it: it would be hell on earth.

– George Bernard Shaw

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All censorships exist to prevent any one from challenging current conceptions and existing institutions. All progress is initiated by challenging current conceptions, and executed by supplanting existing institutions. Consequently the first condition of progress is the removal of censorships.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Chess is a foolish expedient for making idle people believe they are doing something very clever when they are only wasting their time.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Do you know what a pessimist is A man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Home life as we understand it is no more natural to us than a cage is natural to a cockatoo.

– George Bernard Shaw

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I can't forgive my friends for dying I don't find these vanishing acts of theirs at all amusing.

– George Bernard Shaw

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I never resist temptation because I have found that things that are bad for me do not tempt me.

– George Bernard Shaw

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I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation.

– George Bernard Shaw

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If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Martyrdom, sir, is what these people like: it is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability.

– George Bernard Shaw

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My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke in the world.

– George Bernard Shaw

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No man fully capable of his own language ever masters another.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Reading made Don Quixote a gentleman. Believing what he read made him mad.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Success covers a multitude of blunders.

– George Bernard Shaw

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The moment we want to believe something, we suddenly see all the arguments for it, and become blind to the arguments against it.

– George Bernard Shaw

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The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want and if they can't find them, make them.

– George Bernard Shaw

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We are made wise not by the recollection of our past, but by the responsibility for our future.

– George Bernard Shaw

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We have no more right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth without producing it.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Women upset everything. When you let them into your life, you find that the woman is driving at one thing and you're driving at another.

– George Bernard Shaw

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The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable man persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Reasonable people adapt themselves to the world. Unreasonable people attempt to adapt the world to themselves. All progress, therefore, depends on unreasonable people.

– George Bernard Shaw

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You see things as they are and ask, 'Why' I dream things as they never were and ask, 'Why not'

– George Bernard Shaw

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The secret of being miserable is to have the leisure to bother about whether you are happy or not. The cure is occupation.

– George Bernard Shaw

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The reasonable man adapts himself to the world the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.

– George Bernard Shaw

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All great truths begin as blasphemies.

– George Bernard Shaw

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If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange these apples then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Silence is the most perfect expression of scorn.

– George Bernard Shaw

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A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Americans adore me and will go on adoring me until I say something nice about them.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Disobedience, the rarest and most courageous of the virtues, is seldom distinguished from neglect, the laziest and commonest of the vices.

– George Bernard Shaw

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I showed my appreciation of my native land in the usual Irish way by getting out of it as soon as I possibly could.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Use your health, even to the point of wearing it out. That is what it is for. Spend all you have before you die and do not outlive yourself.

– George Bernard Shaw

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We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.

– George Bernard Shaw

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He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches.

– George Bernard Shaw

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As long as I have a want, I have a reason for living. Satisfaction is death.

– George Bernard Shaw

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There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it.

– George Bernard Shaw

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The only man who behaves sensibly is my tailor he takes my measure anew every time he sees me, whilst all the rest go on with their old measurements, and expect them to fit me.

– George Bernard Shaw

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There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart's desire. The other is to get it.

– George Bernard Shaw

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If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must Man be of learning from experience.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Take care to get what you like or you will be forced to like what you get.

– George Bernard Shaw

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It is impossible for an Englishman to open his mouth without making some other Englishman hate or despise him.

– George Bernard Shaw

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If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange apples then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Better keep yourself clean and bright -- you are the window through which you must see the world.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Every man over forty is a scoundrel.

– George Bernard Shaw

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He who can, does. He who cannot teaches.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.

– George Bernard Shaw

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This is the true joy in life: Being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one. Being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap. Being a force of Nature, instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances, complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.

– George Bernard Shaw

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What is life but a seires of inspired follies The difficulty is to find them to do. Never lose a chance it doesn't come every day.

– George Bernard Shaw

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All my life, affection has been showered upon me, and every forward step I have made has been taken in spite of it.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that man can never learn anything from history.

– George Bernard Shaw

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A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Activity is the only road to knowledge.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Lack of money is the root of all evil.

– George Bernard Shaw

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One man that has a mind and knows it can always beat ten men who haven't and don't.

– George Bernard Shaw

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A fashion is nothing but an induced epidemic.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Baseball has the great advantage over cricket of being sooner ended.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Few people think more than two or three times a year; I have made an international reputation for myself by thinking once or twice a week.

– George Bernard Shaw

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He who has never hoped can never despair.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Let a short Act of Parliament be passed, placing all street musicians outside the protection of the law, so that any citizen may assail them with stones, sticks, knives, pistols, or bombs without incurring any penalties.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got a hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.

– George Bernard Shaw

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The American Constitution, one of the few modern political documents drawn up by men who were forced by the sternest circumstances to think out what they really had to face, instead of chopping logic in a university classroom.

– George Bernard Shaw

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The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me.

– George Bernard Shaw

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The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Virtue consists, not in abstaining from vice, but in not desiring it.

– George Bernard Shaw

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When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.

– George Bernard Shaw

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A life spent in making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent in doing nothing.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Beware of the man whose God is in the skies.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Nothing is worth doing unless the consequences may be serious.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Gambling promises the poor what property performs for the rich--something for nothing.

– George Bernard Shaw

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The worst sin toward our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them -- that's the essense of inhumanity.

– George Bernard Shaw

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In Heaven an angel is nobody in particular.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity.

– George Bernard Shaw

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The savage bows down to idols of wood and stone the civilized man to idols of flesh and blood.

– George Bernard Shaw

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When a man wants to murder a tiger he calls it sport; when a tiger wants to murder him he calls it ferocity.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world.

– George Bernard Shaw

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The 100% American is 99% an idiot.

– George Bernard Shaw

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The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Common sense is instinct. Enough of it is genius.

– George Bernard Shaw

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This is the true joy in life -- being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one...

– George Bernard Shaw

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No man can be a pure specialist without being in the strict sense an idiot.

– George Bernard Shaw

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A learned man is an idler who kills time with study. Beware of his false knowledge it is more dangerous than ignorance.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Alcohol is a very necessary article... It makes life bearable to millions of people who could not endure their existence if they were quite sober. It enables Parliament to do things at eleven at night that no sane person would do at eleven in the morning.

– George Bernard Shaw

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An Englishman thinks he is moral when he is only uncomfortable.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Money enables us to get what we want instead of what other people think we want.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Swindon What will history say Burgoyne History, sir, will tell lies as usual.

– George Bernard Shaw

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We are told that when Jehovah created the world he saw that it was good what would he say now

– George Bernard Shaw

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You'll never have a quiet world till you knock the patriotism out of the human race.

– George Bernard Shaw

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A lifetime of happiness No man alive could bear it it would be hell on earth.

– George Bernard Shaw

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It is most unwise for people in love to marry.

– George Bernard Shaw

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There is no satisfaction in hanging a man who does not object to it.

– George Bernard Shaw

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What we call education and culture is for the most part nothing but the substitution of reading for experience, of literature for life, of the obsolete fictitious for the contemporary real.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.

– George Bernard Shaw

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It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.

– George Bernard Shaw

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A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.

– George Bernard Shaw

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A man never tells you anything until you contradict him.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Virtue is insufficient temptation.

– George Bernard Shaw

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England and America are two countries separated by the same language.

– George Bernard Shaw

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All professions are conspiracies against the laity.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few.

– George Bernard Shaw

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An institution which is populare because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Democracy: The substitution of election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.

– George Bernard Shaw

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A man ought to be able to be fond of his wife without making a fool of himself about her.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Man can climb to the highest summits, but he cannot dwell there long.

– George Bernard Shaw

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A perpetual holiday is a good working definition of hell.

– George Bernard Shaw

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A pessimist thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it.

– George Bernard Shaw

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A socialist is somebody who doesn't have anything, and is ready to divide it up equally among everybody.

– George Bernard Shaw

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An asylum for the sane would be empty in America.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Crude classifications and false generalizations are the curse of organized life.

– George Bernard Shaw

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do not act stupid to impress the dopes Be YOURSELF and impress everyone -

– George Bernard Shaw

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Do not do unto others as you would that they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Do you know what a pessimist is? A person who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself and hates them for it.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Do you think that the things people make fools of themselves about are any less real and true than the things they behave sensibly about They are more true they are the only things that are true.

– George Bernard Shaw

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England and America are two countries separated by a common language.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Englishmen hate Liberty and Equality too much to understand them. But every Englishman loves a pedigree.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Everything happens to everybody sooner or later if there is time enough.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Except during the nine months before he draws his first breath, no man manages his affairs as well as a tree does.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Fashions are the only induced epidemics, proving that epidemics can be induced by tradesmen.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Few of us have vitality enough to make any of our instincts imperious.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Few people think more than two or three times a year I have made an international reputation for myself by thinking once or twice a week.

– George Bernard Shaw

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First love is only a little foolishness and a lot of curiosity.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Forgive him, for he believes that the customs of his tribe are the laws of nature

– George Bernard Shaw

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Hell is full of musical amateurs music is the brandy of the damned.

– George Bernard Shaw

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I am a gentleman: I live by robbing the poor.

– George Bernard Shaw

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I am a Millionaire. That is my religion.

– George Bernard Shaw

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I can forgive Alfred Nobel for having invented dynamite, but only a fiend in human form could have invented the Nobel Prize.

– George Bernard Shaw

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I make a fortune from criticizing the policy of the government, and then hand it over to the government in taxes to keep it going.

– George Bernard Shaw

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I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake.

– George Bernard Shaw

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I'm not a teacher only a fellow-traveller of whom you asked the way. I pointed ahead-ahead of myself as well as you.

– George Bernard Shaw

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If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion.

– George Bernard Shaw

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If more than ten percent of the population likes a painting it should be burned, for it must be bad.

– George Bernard Shaw

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If the lesser mind could measure the greater as a footrule can measure a pyramid, there would be finality in universal suffrage. As it is, the political problem remains unsolved.

– George Bernard Shaw

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If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.

– George Bernard Shaw

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If you value a man's regard, strive with him. As to liking, you like your newspaper -- and despise it.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire, you will what you imagine and at last you create what you will.

– George Bernard Shaw

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In a battle all you need to make you fight is a little hot blood and the knowledge that it's more dangerous to lose than to win.

– George Bernard Shaw

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In order to fully realize how bad a popular play can be, it is necessary to see it twice.

– George Bernard Shaw

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It is most unwise for people in love to marry

– George Bernard Shaw

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It took me twenty years of studied self-restraint, aided by the natural decay of my faculties, to make myself dull enough to be accepted as a serious person by the British public.

– George Bernard Shaw

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It's all that the young can do for the old, to shock them and keep them up to date.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Life does not cease to be funny when people die; any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Life is a disease; and the only diference between one another is the stage of the disease at which he lives.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Life is not meant to be easy, my child; but take courage -- it can be delightful.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Life would be tolerable but for its amusements.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Make money and the whole nation will conspire to call you a gentleman.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Martyrdom is the only way a person can become famous without ability.

– George Bernard Shaw

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My main reason for adopting literature as a profession was that, as the author is never seen by his clients, he need not dress respectably.

– George Bernard Shaw

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My method is to take the utmost trouble to find the right thing to say, and then to say it with the utmost levity.

– George Bernard Shaw

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No man ever believes that the Bible means what it says: He is always convinced that it says what he means.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Nobel prize money is a lifebelt thrown to a swimmer who has already reached the shore in safety.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Nothing ever is done in this world until men are prepared to kill one another if it is not done.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Parentage is a very important profession, but no test of fitness for it is ever imposed in the interest of the children.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it.

– George Bernard Shaw

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People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Popular Christianity has for its emblem a gibbet, for its chief sensation a sanginary execution after torture, for its central mystery is an insane vengeance bought off by a trumpery expiation. But there is a nobler and profounder Christianity which affirms the sacred mystery of equality and forbids the glaring futility and folly of vengeance.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Reviewing has one advantage over suicide: in suicide you take it out on yourself; in reviewing you take it out on other people.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Self-denial is not a virtue it is only the effect of prudence on rascality.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Self-sacrifice enables us to sacrifice other people without blushing.

– George Bernard Shaw

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Take the utmost trouble to find the right thing to say, and then say it with the utmost levity.

– George Bernard Shaw

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The American Constitution, one of the few modern political documents drawn up by men who were forced by the sternest circumstances to think out what they really had to face, instead of chopping logic in a university classroom.

– George Bernard Shaw

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The art of government is the organization of idolatry.

– George Bernard Shaw

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The best reformers the world has ever seen are those who commence on themselves.

– George Bernard Shaw

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The chief objection of playing wind instruments is that it prolongs the life of the player.

– George Bernard Shaw

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The Churches must learn humility as well as teach it.

– George Bernard Shaw

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The English have no respect for their language, and will not teach their children to speak it.

– George Bernard Shaw

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The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than saying a drunken man is happier than a sober man.

– George Bernard Shaw

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The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact than a drunken man is happier than a sober one.

– George Bernard Shaw

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The fickleness of the women whom I love is only equalled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me.

– George Bernard Shaw

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The future of our children is on our knees -Precious Musanu

– George Bernard Shaw

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The golden rule is that there are no golden rules.

– George Bernard Shaw

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The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.

– George Bernard Shaw

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The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.

– George Bernard Shaw

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The love of money is the root of all virtue.

– George Bernard Shaw

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The man who listens to Reason is lost reason enslaves all whose minds are not strong enough to master her.

– George Bernard Shaw

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The more things a man is ashamed of, the more respectable he is.

– George Bernard Shaw

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The most anxious man in a prison is the governor.

– George Bernard Shaw

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The notion that the colonel need be a better man than the private is as confused as the notion that the keystone need be stronger than the coping stone.

– George Bernard Shaw

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The only service a friend can really render is to keep up your courage by holding up to you a mirror in which you can see a noble image of yourself.

– George Bernard Shaw

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The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.

– George Bernard Shaw

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The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.

– George Bernard Shaw

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The world is populated in the main by people who should not exist.

– George Bernard Shaw

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There are no secrets better kept than the secrets that everybody guesses.

– George Bernard Shaw

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There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.

– George Bernard Shaw

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There is no love sincerer than the love of food.

– George Bernard Shaw

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There is only one universal passion fear.

– George Bernard Shaw

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To be clever enough to get a great deal of money, one must be stupid enough to want it.

– George Bernard Shaw

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We don't bother much about dress and manners in England, because as a nation we don't dress well and we've no manners.

– George Bernard Shaw

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We have not lost faith, but we have transferred it from God to the medical profession.

– George Bernard Shaw

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We should all be obliged to appear before a board every five years and justify our existence...on pain of liquidation.

– George Bernard Shaw

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What God hath joined together no man shall put asunder: God will take care of that.

– George Bernard Shaw

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What is the matter with the poor is poverty; what is the matter with the rich is uselessness.

– George Bernard Shaw

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What is virtue but the trades unionism of the married.

– George Bernard Shaw

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What use are cartridges in battle I always carry chocolate instead.

– George Bernard Shaw

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What we want is to see the child in pursuit of knowledge, and not knowledge in pursuit of the child.

– George Bernard Shaw

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When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty.

– George Bernard Shaw

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When a thing is funny, search it for a hidden truth.

– George Bernard Shaw

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When the world goes mad, one must accept madness as sanity since sanity is, in the last analysis, nothing but the madness on which the whole world happens to agree.

– George Bernard Shaw

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