Quotes from the news wire:
Louis Cato has done a great job this summer, and Louis Cato is very humble, so he won't say this. But I will. He's a musical genius. He can play basically every instrument over there. Give him an afternoon, he'll learn how to play Mozart on a shoehorn.
Found on CNN 1 year ago
We've been so lucky to have a front row seat to Jon's incredible talent for the past seven years. And will we miss Louis Cato here ? ' Yeaaa !' But we're happy for you, Jon Lampley, and I can't wait to have Jon Lampley back on as guest with Jon Lampley next hit record.
Found on CNN 1 year ago
It's predictable why these TV talkers are talking like this on the TV. They want to talk about something other than the January 6th hearings on the actual seditious insurrection that led to the deaths of multiple people, but drawing any equivalence between rioters storming our Capitol to prevent the counting of electoral ballots and a cigar-chomping toy dog is a shameful and grotesque insult to the memory of everyone who died.
Found on CNN 1 year ago
Which actually isn't that surprising. The Capitol police are much more cautious than The Capitol police were, say, 18 months ago, and for a very good reason, if you don't know what that reason is, I know which news network you watch.
Found on CNN 1 year ago
Today the average gas price in America hit an all-time record high over $4 per gallon. OK, that stings, but a clean conscience is worth a buck or two. It's important. It's important. I'm willing to pay $4 a gallon. Hell, I'll pay $15 a gallon because I drive a Tesla.
Found on FOX News 1 year ago
I've been asked by CBS to host' The Late Show ''' until 2023, and I have every intention of honoring their subpoena.
Found on CNN 4 years ago
You really feel the ground shifting under your feet, but if you're home, you've got a seatbelt on your couch. No. 1, why ? No. 2, buckle up.
Found on CNN 4 years ago
And one nickel is a lot, you can take a streetcar to the Ziegfeld and see a talkie... and still have enough left over for an egg cream at Woolworth's.
Found on CNN 4 years ago
Most of it was a bunch of guys with no chance to win the Democratic nomination yelling Republican talking points at the people who can, it was like watching the seven dwarfs offering Snow White a poison apple.
Found on CNN 4 years ago
Ouch, Fox News ! You pledged to be there for him, for better or worse.
Found on CNN 4 years ago
I know there's some polls out there saying that this man has a 32% approval rating. But guys like us, we don't pay attention to the polls. We know that polls are just a collection of statistics that reflect what people are thinking in 'reality.' And reality has a well-known liberal bias.
Found on CNN 4 years ago
I've said one or two things about Donald Trump, like how he's a terrible president, so... I'm just going to bite the bullet and say it : Mr. President if you're watching, and I know you are, I'm sorry that you're a terrible president.
Found on CNN 4 years ago
I say troubling news because if Donald Trump is not working with the Russians then what the hell is wrong with Donald Trump ? if they don't have anything on Robert Mueller, why does Robert Mueller keep saying nice things about Vladimir Putin ?
Found on CNN 4 years ago
At the heart of so many of our public discussions right now is the story of powerful men protecting other men in power, and there are a lot of examples of this.
Found on CNN 5 years ago
I'm grateful to CNN for writing this article. The press is not the enemy of the people, this is why you want a free press, this is why you want investigative journalism. It's to make sure that government and companies and people are accountable for their actions.
Found on CNN 5 years ago
I never thought I’d say this, but you’re only 81! You know what they say, they say 81 is the new 79. And don’t tell me your mind’s going. Because I’ve read Bush v. Gore and Citizens United, you never had one, oh, we are supremely screwed.
Found on FOX News 5 years ago
Hey, don't bring God into this, but if he just read a little bit further into Romans 13:10,' Love thy neighbor as thyself. Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore, love is the fulfillment of the law.'.
Found on CNN 5 years ago
Now usually for me to talk about a news story on this show, especially a tragic one, it has to be something that everybody's already talking about... But this story is different, because this is the conversation everyone should be having, i would cite Stephen Colbert to the Apostle Paul and his clear and wise command in Romans 13 to obey the laws of the government because God has ordained the government for his purposes.
Found on CNN 5 years ago
Examples of men who were not held accountable for their behavior, especially men in power with younger women or people who worked for them, is worthy of being readjudicated or adjudicated for the first time, no matter how long ago it happened.
Found on FOX News 5 years ago
Hmmm – a couple of spanks and Trump started acting more appropriate. John Kelly, you know what to do.
Found on FOX News 5 years ago
And I’m like, ‘It’s still not over? His awfulness is still happening?’.
Found on FOX News 5 years ago
Classic defense. ' How can I be racist ? I have pictures with black people,'.
Found on FOX News 5 years ago
The way I was going to approach talking to him about this subject, which I knew he didn’t want to talk about, was people in the movie talk about rumors of sexual impropriety by one of the characters. At like minute 42, one of the characters says ‘can you separate the artist from the rumors about him?’ How would you answer that question? That was going to be my tack.
Found on FOX News 6 years ago
No. Your movie‘Stuart Saves His Family ’ was intended to be funny but was n’t, that photo was intended to embarrass His Family '. That’s why he did it while His Family ' was asleep.
Found on FOX News 6 years ago
I guess there are no good people left, so let’s just get it over with, just tell us whatever you did, Jimmy Carter ! Barack Obama ! Tom Hanks ! Malala !
Found on FOX News 6 years ago
Now, if you saw my monologue Monday, you know that I was a little upset at Donald Trump forinsulting a friend of mine, so at the end of that monologue I had a few choice insults for the president in return. I don’t regret that. He, I believe, can take care of himself. I have jokes; he has the launch codes. So, it’s a fair fight. So while I would do it again, I would change a few words that were cruder than they needed to be.
Found on FOX News 6 years ago
Creating a company is almost like having a child, so it’s sort of like, how do you say your child should not have food?
Found on FOX News 8 years ago
This is why I think people want you to run for president, and I know that’s an emotional decision. But it’s going to be emotional for a lot of people if you don’t run. And sir, I just want to say I think your experience and your example of suffering and service is something that would be sorely missed in the race.
Found on FOX News 8 years ago
They work best on a big screen, if you want to see it on a cellphone, that's fine with me, but it won't be the full experience.
Found on FOX News 8 years ago
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