Famous quotes by »

A Soulution to Rubik's Cube is not a series of individual good guesses, each surmounting move has twelve to one odds against success. It is a series of perplexed movements or algorithms that form a coherent method of returning back to it's original (correct) state.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

All religions are a scam . . . except for yours of course.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

All things happen for a reason . . . even No Reason is still a reason.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Any Terrorist living in the US will either leave or the people of the United States will eliminate you.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Does anyone know when they are going to come out with the new Mayan Calender?

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Everybody wants to go to heaven . . . nobody wants to die!

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Excuse me, but can you be a little more vague?

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Four out of Five Dentist think that the Fifth Dentist is an idiot.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Humans are the only creatures that have the ability to forgive.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

I asked God if He could hear me . . . He said "No".

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

I don't believe in reincarnation, but then again I didn't believe in it last time either.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

I found that life will go on pretty much with or with out you.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

I wish I had a million dollars for every time I wished I had a million dollars.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

If you believe that the Bible has all the answers maybe you're not asking the right questions.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Most of what I know I forgot.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

One time I was at the Doctors office and the Doctor asked me if I was allergic to anything. I said "Yes, poison.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

There are two reasons why a person does something, one that sounds good and the real one.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Translogic: A comment or statement that sounds logical and makes sense at the time it is said but when later closely examined it actually makes no sense at all.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Ugly people look prettier in the dark.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

I'm making some changes in my life. If you don't hear back from me . . . you're one of them.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Even unconditional love has it's conditions.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

You are not truly rich until you have something that money can't buy.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Cultural Values Determine Behavior.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

I use to put ant poison on my front lawn but I actually found that putting sugar on my neighbor's lawn works just as well.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Sorry . . . I can't help stupid.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

I became a comedian because I couldn't make it as a Porn Star.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

I'm not afraid of falling . . . I'm afraid of landing.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

When I was young my Dad told me that Alcohol kills thousands of brain cells and he said, "son . . . you're not the smartest kid in your class"!

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Sex is only 10% of a Good Marriage but it's 90% of a Bad One.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Why when you have 31 Flavors stick with Rocky Road?

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Five is a Four letter word.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

If you really want to master something, it's best to learn from a Master.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Strangers have the best candy.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Once I had a dream that I was sleeping.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

When I die I want to be cremated and have my ashes spread out over a soccer field so that the kids can kick my ash.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

A few years ago I made a New Years Resolution never to make another New Years Resolution again and so far it's the only one that I have actually kept.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

A gift isn't yours until you take it.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Alright, who's the wise guy who turned the light out at the end of my tunnel?

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Are you suppose to wear swimming trunks when you are in the car pool lane?

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Be sure to look out for number One while not stepping in number Two.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Better to have the right person at the wrong time than to never had met them at all.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Charity should be given to those who need it not those who want it.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Clowns taste funny.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Death is the ultimate test of ones faith.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Do you think that Jesus looked both ways before crossing?

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Doing what you love is freedom, loving what you do is happiness.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Every 7 seconds there is a woman somewhere in the world giving birth to a child. We must find that woman and stop her!

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Everybody who sets out to prove that God exists succeeds and everybody who sets out to prove that God does not exist also succeeds.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Everyone's personality is a manifestation of their combined past experiences. If you are able to observe and interpret someone's behavior, you will eventually be able to predict that person's behavior as well.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Everything is temporary!

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Evil people can not see the evil in others because of their own evil.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Find happiness in your own sandbox.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

FYI: There's no such place as Carmen, San Diego.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Have you ever used Diet Shampoo before? It's for people with Fat Heads.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Having a body tattoo is like wearing the same shirt everyday for the rest of your life.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Heaven called . . . we're a match!

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

How can they say Coming to a theater near you when they don't even know where you live?

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he is lost?

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

I always try to give credit whenever credit is doo doo even thought I really don't give a crap!

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

I am convinced that we are here for a reason and when I figure it out I will let you know.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

I am such a firm believer in the idea of "Free Press" so much that I took my neighbors newspaper off his porch this morning.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

I came into this world with nothing and not much has changed.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

I consider myself bilingual, I know enough Spanish to order off the menu at Taco Bell.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

I don't have alzheimer's, . . . I have sometimers!

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

I had an out a body experience once and when I returned someone else was there.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

I heard of a guy who had a heart attack and died when he realized that he had just won the Lottery! What are the odds of that?

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

I just finished my first book . . . I enjoyed it so much I'm thinking about reading another one.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

I just realized that Disneyland was the first human maze run by a mouse.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

I know what it takes to become a millionaire . . . a million bucks!

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

I love my kids to death . . . so far it's not working.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

I made my money the old fashioned way . . . I robbed a bank.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

I might not be a Nobel Peace Prize winner but I know that the opposite of love is not indifference, it's hate. Indifference would be the fulcrum (center point) between love and hate. To think otherwise is ludicrous.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

I once had a memory pillow, but I forgot where I put it!

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

I owned a mountain cabin once that had hot and cold running water . . . hot in the summer and cold in the winter.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

I remember when I was young I had a real bad identity crisis. So one day I went to my father and I asked him "Wo Chong, was I adopted?".

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

I think it's funny how some people can think about eternity but the same people think that the earth is only 6,000 years old.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

I think that a women has the right to kill her unborn child just as much as that child has a right to kill their mother after they are born.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

I use to play the saxophone before I was married but my fiancee didn't like the fact that I was performing Premarital Sax!

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

I use to play the saxophone before I was married but my fiancee didn't like the fact that I was performing Premarital Sax!

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

I went to the Hollywood Bowl last night . . . I bowled a 126.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

I'd be a Vegetarian if I didn't have to give up eating meat.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

I'm better than I was before I got as bad as I am now.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

I'm not looking for someone who I can live with, I'm looking for someone who I can't live without.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

I'm thinking of a number between One and Infinity.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

I'm thinking of buying an aquarium and filling it up with fish so when I'm bored I can go fishing.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Idealism only works in an ideal world.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

If a man can't keep his word, what good is the man?

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

If common sense is so common how come so many people don't have it?

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

If Gillette put a One after it's name it would be Gillette One.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

If I had to do it all over again I'd skip the first grade.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

If I knew everything there was to know about anything, I still wouldn't tell you.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

If I wasn't here right now, I'd be somewhere else.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

If you believe that God would be upset with you than maybe you need to change your concept of God.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

If you can't think of the right word to say, make one up.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

If you want to know something, ask my kids. They think they know everything.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

In case you hadn't heard, I'm winning the human race.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

In high school the closest I ever got to being on the honor roll was yes your honor and no your honor.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

In most relationships there is usually a giver and a taker. The giver will give and the taker will take until the giver can't give anymore.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

In our darkest moments we often stub our toe.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Intelligence isn't how much you know, it's how much you remember.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

It's a Recession if it's happening to other people, it's a Depression if it's happening to you!

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

It's always best to put a little truth in every lie.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

It's called life, get use to it.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

It's never to late to do the right thing.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

It's not what you know, it's what they think you know.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

It's your story, run with it.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Its only deep if you're short.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Its time for someone to stand up and say "Stop spending all our hard earned tax dollars".

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Just because you believe something is true doesn't automatically make it true.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Just think, if I was born one day earlier I would have written this yesterday.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Life isn't always fair . . . but it's sure fairer than death!

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Life's not fair . . . get over it.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Many people are looking for security instead of opportunity.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Math Problem: What does Three take away Two equal? I can prove that Three take away Two equals Two. Don't believe me? OK, you have Three apples I take away Two apples, how many apples do I have?

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Money is the consolidation and storage of energy

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Money Talk's . . . mine keeps saying Goodbye!

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Money talks . . . It says you're cheap.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Money will trump morals the majority of time.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Most people choose appearance over reality.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Most people would rather take the easy road than the high road.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

My ex-wife thought that the grass was greener on the other side . . . so now she's mowing someone else's lawn.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

My Favorite kind of animal is a stuffed one.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

My mom was a truck driver and my dad use to call her a mother trucker.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

My name translated into Chinese is "Hy Yu"

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

My plan is to live forever, so far so good.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Never Drink and Drive . . . you might spill.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Never judge a book by it's cover . . . judge it by it's price.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

New and Improved actually means that the Old Stuff actually Sucked!

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Next time I'd think twice about thinking twice.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Next time I'd think twice about thinking twice.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Nine lives and counting.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Once I had a dog that died of lead poisoning . . . I shot him in the head.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

One man's trash ends up another man's wife.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

One time a waitress asked me how I wanted my eggs, I said "Cooked".

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

One time I bought a pound cake that weighed 14 ounces.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Paper will lie no matter what you put on it.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

People are more likely to accept your ideas if you tell them that Barack Obama said it first.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

People who live in Stone Houses shouldn't throw Glass.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Personally I don't care to watch a bunch of millionaires throw balls at each other.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Question for the Family Feud game show: "Name something that you can't say on TV.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Remember what I told you to forget?

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty?

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Since the beginning of time man has done three things when he communicates both in speaking and in the written form. He will Generalize, Omit & Exaggerate.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Some kids wanted to be Firemen when they were growing up . . . I wanted to be a Fire Truck!

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Some people believe that war brings about peace, I believe that peace brings about peace.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Some people really can't afford to give me a piece of their mind.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Some people say that you should fight fire with fire but I say you should fight fire with water.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Someone, somewhere right now is thinking about You!

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Something is wrong if they don't bring out the best in you.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Sometimes you're the windshield . . . sometimes you're the bug!

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Tattoos are just one more way to identify a body.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Tattoos are just one more way to identify the body.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

The average person believes that they are better than the average person.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

The best thing about the future is that it starts tomorrow.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE ARE FREE”, “WEALTH is having things money can’t buy” Health and Family and Love and Friendships”!(COMPASSION)!

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE ARE FREE”, “WEALTH is having things money can’t buy” Health and Family and Love and Friendships”!(COMPASSION)!

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

The Colon key on my keyboard doesn't work when I press down the shift button. Does anyone know of a good Colon cleanser that can help me get my shift together.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

The first time I ever did stand up comedy a guy yelled out "Down in front". So I just sat down and watched the rest of the movie.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

The French, they're so . . . French.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

The Greater a person is the more they will be heated.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

The last time my ship came in . . . I was waiting at the airport.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

The only faith that really matters is the one that you believe in.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

The only way that I can see America ever becoming a strong nation again is to stop being a debtor nation and to begin spending less than is taxed on it's people.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

The President didn't vote for me so I'm not voting for him either.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

The soul and the consensus are one in the same, when the soul leaves the body so does the consensusness.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

There are no stupid questions except What's my name again?

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

There are two things I hate . . . No Three. Haters, Haters & Haters!

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

There are two ways to take over a country. Externally by force or Internally by fiscal collapse.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

There is a big difference between Assigned Prestige and Achieved Prestige. Assigned Prestige will usually abuse it's power where Achieved Prestige won't.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

There is no more powerful form of rejection than taking someone for granted.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

There's a fine line between stalking and romanticly pursuing someone said my attorney to the judge.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

There's no free lunch . . . unless you're an illegal alien.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

There's nothing better than to have a mate that actually likes you let alone loves you.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

They say keep looking up, things could get worse. So I kept looking up and sure enough things got worse.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

They told me to chase my dreams but this restraining order says differently.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

This is my backup plan.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Time is the measurement of the rotation of the Earths Surface around the Circumference of it's Axis.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

To ruin someone it doesn't have to be true, it just has to be said.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Today is 08/26/2018 Mark my words, sometime before the 2020 election the liberals are going say they're not illegals, they're Americans just like us. North American's, South American's and Central American's.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Today was tomorrow and yesterday was today.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Today's not my day . . . tomorrows not looking any better.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Trying to forget someone you loved is like trying to remember someone you never knew.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Two wrongs don't make a right but Three lefts do.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

We are all Strangers . . . Some of us are just Stranger than others.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

We only fear what we don't know, if we knew everything we would have no fear.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

We only fear what we don't know, if we knew everything we would have no fear.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

What we want we can't have and what we have we don't want.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

What you do with your hands you mess up with your feet.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

What's the first thing you ask for when you spill a drink? That's right, another drink!

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

What's the first thing you ask for when you spill a drink? That's right, another drink!

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Whats right isn't always popular and whats popular isn't always right.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

When all else fails blame your high school drama teacher.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

When choosing between the lesser of two evils . . . choose the one that you haven't tried yet.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

When I die I want my tomb stone to say "See, I told you I was sick".

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

When I was in High School the closest I had ever been to being on the Honor Roll was Yes your Honor and No your Honor.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

When I was young I use to go to the beach so much my mom would call me a "Son of a Beach".

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

When I was young I used to date homeless chicks, they weren't very picky and at the end of the date I could just drop them off at any corner.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

When I was young my parents use to move a lot . . . but I'd always find them.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

When in Rome . . . Rome around.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

When people try to bring you down they are only trying to bring you to their level.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

When words can't express your true inner feelings, use hand jesters.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Where there is no vision, people will bump into walls.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Whoever said "Better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all" was an idiot!

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Why walk to work when you can take your lunch?

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Wisdom is using knowledge through God's perspective.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Woke up this morning. CHECK

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Yea, I have dreams. Usually at night when I'm asleep. Why?

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

You don't have to motivate passion, unless you're married.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

You have the right answer . . . the question is wrong.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

You hear preachers say that the prosperity gospel doesn't work but I say that it's worked for the preachers who preach it.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

You keep using that word "Born Again", I don't think it means what you think it means.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

You'll have to forgive me, I went to public school.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

You're only as old as you . . . Just face it, you're old.

– Tom Zegan

Rate it:

Share your thoughts on Tom Zegan's quotes with the community:

Quote of the Day Today's Quote | Archive

Would you like us to send you a FREE inspiring quote delivered to your inbox daily?

Citation

Use the citation below to add this author page to your bibliography:

Style:MLA Chicago APA

"Tom Zegan Quotes." Quotes.net. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 24 Mar. 2019. <https://www.quotes.net/authors/Tom+Zegan+Quotes>.

Famous quotes by »

Tom Zegan

Sort by:Popularity A - Z

Share your thoughts on Tom Zegan's quotes with the community:

Quote of the Day Today's Quote | Archive

Would you like us to send you a FREE inspiring quote delivered to your inbox daily?

Citation

Use the citation below to add this author page to your bibliography:

Missing a quote of Tom Zegan?

Know another good quote of Tom Zegan? Don't keep it to yourself!

The Web's Largest Resource for

Famous Quotes & Sayings

A Member Of The STANDS4 Network

Our favorite collection of

Famous Authors

Our awesome collection of

Promoted Quotes

Company

Editorial

Services

Legal & Contact

Famous quotes by »

Tom Zegan

Sort by:PopularityA - Z

Share your thoughts on Tom Zegan's quotes with the community:

Quote of the Day Today's Quote | Archive

Would you like us to send you a FREE inspiring quote delivered to your inbox daily?

Citation

Use the citation below to add this author page to your bibliography:

Missing a quote of Tom Zegan?

Know another good quote of Tom Zegan? Don't keep it to yourself!

The Web's Largest Resource for

Famous Quotes & Sayings

A Member Of The STANDS4 Network

Our favorite collection of

Famous Authors

Our awesome collection of

Promoted Quotes

Sort by:Popularity A - Z