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The only thing I really remember from the whole plane ride is I just kind of went through periods of -- I just stared at the back of the seat the whole time, trying to get my mind to wrap around what I'm hearing, it's almost kind of like, this isn't really happening. And I( was) just more of in a state of shock. I would go through periods of shaking and then I would kind of start to lose it a little bit and break down and cry. And it was kind of just a circle and the plane rides just seemed like they took forever.