101 Dalmatians

Cruella De Vil:
You... BEASTS! But I'm not beaten yet. You've won the battle, but I'm about to win the wardrobe. My spotty puppy coat is in plain sight and leaving tracks. In a moment I'll have what I came for, while all of you will end up as sausage meat, alone on some sad, plastic plate. Dead and meaty and red. No friends, no family, no pulse. Just slapped between two buns, smothered in onions, with fries on the side. Cruella De Vil has the last laugh!

Horace:
Did you hear that?

Jasper:
What?

Horace:
That noise.

Jasper:
What noise?

Horace:
That noise I just heard. Do you hear it?

Jasper:
Oh yeah. Sounded like an complete burk asking me irritating questions. Oh, good, it's stopped now.

Roger:
Fools aren't born, Pongo; pretty girls make them in their spare time.

Frederick:
I thought we liked stripes this year.

Cruella De Vil:
What kind of sycophant are you?

Frederick:
Uh, what kind of sycophant would you like me to be?

Cruella De Vil:
I live for fur, I worship fur. After all, is there a woman in all this wretched world who doesn't?

Cruella De Vil:
We lose more women to marriage than war, famine, and disease.

Roger:
Do you want another cup of marriage, uh, tea?

Cruella De Vil:
Congratulations. You've just won gold, silver, and bronze in the Morons Olympics!

Horace:
[mouthing hesitantly, then speaking out loud] Who won the gold?

Cruella De Vil:
[screaming] Shut up! My business, my reputation, my life, has been ruined because you three incompetent twits let yourselves be outsmarted by a bunch of dumb animals! And you call yourselves men? Huh? I've seen more intelligent pieces of carpet!

[suddenly, they notice, too late, a skunk that promptly sprays them all; they all start screaming their heads off and pound against the police van walls]

Cruella De Vil:
[to Skinner on the phone] Mr. Skinner, suspicions are mounting. Police are everywhere. I want the job done tonight. Can you do it?

Skinner:
[taps one of the keys on the phone several times to communicate]

Cruella De Vil:
Any way you want. Poison them, drown them, bash them on the head. Got any chloroform? I don't care how you kill the little beasts, just do it, and do it now!

Cruella De Vil:
All right. Keep the little beasts. Do what you like with them. Drown them, for all I care. You're a *fool*, Anita! I have no use for fools. You're fired, you're finished, you'll never work in fashion again! I'm through with all of you! I'll get even! Just wait. You'll be sorry. You fools! You IDIOTS!

Cruella De Vil:
And you must be Rufus.

Jasper:
Now, there are two things you must not do with Skinner. One, do not look at the horrendous scar on his neck. Two, don't talk to him. Understand? Not a word.

Horace:
Right.

[Skinner answers the door and looks at Horace]

Horace:
Ahh! Look at the size of that scar! No bl - oody wonder you can't talk, mate!

Skinner:
[Wheezing]

Jasper:
[to Skinner] Excuse me just a minute, would you?

[closes the door and punches Horace]

Horace:
[Horace falls down]

Horace:
[still shivering after falling through the frozen pond] Turn on the heater on, will ya?

Jasper:
No! Not with this thing acting the way she is; I don't want to risk losing power.

Horace:
I can't stand the cold no more. I want heat!

[turns the heat on himself; the system shorts and the car catches on fire from the heater]

Horace:
FIRE! Too hot! Too hot!

Woman On Park Bench #1:
[Pongo runs hard enough to break his leash from Roger's bike, causing it to continue rolling downhill until hitting the bench; he is flung off and over it, into the pond] I don't think he wanted to do that.

[Cruella has spotted the dogs running away across a field]

Cruella De Vil:
Bingo!

[sarcastically]

Cruella De Vil:
Poor little things. I'm gonna cut you off, then cut you up! [sinister chuckle]

Cruella De Vil:
[scary whisper] Oh, yes! I love the smell of near extinction!

Cruella De Vil:
Alonzo. The drawing.

[Alonzo looks confused]

Cruella De Vil:
[shrieking] Take the drawing from Anita, and hand it to me! Is that difficult?

[Alonzo gives her the drawing, then Cruella snatches it]

Cruella De Vil:
Thank you. Now go and stand somewhere until I need you.

Cruella De Vil:
[walking through a farmyard] This is extraordinary. I am reduced to tramping through SEWAGE! Because my two imbeciles can't keep track of a bunch of infant dogs!

Horace:
You know, this house is creepy. I'm starving hungry, and so far we haven't been paid one bloody quid.

Jasper:
Oh, will you stop moaning?

Cruella De Vil:
[to a racoon who has just stolen her hat and is wearing it] Darling, red isn't your color. Give me the hat. Give me the hat, or you will become a hat. GIVE IT TO ME!

Jasper:
[as they meet up to discuss their plan for Cruella's coat] Ah, ma'am, what a beautiful day it is out there! Sun shining, blue skies, the laughter of schoolchildren riding on the gentle breeze.

Cruella De Vil:
Get on with it, you imbecile!

[Horace is about to get out of the car, but gets caught on Jasper's mask]

Jasper:
[thinking he's trying to take it] Fetch your own!

Jasper:
[Trying to start the van] You just had to let those puppies get away, didn't you? Never paying attention.

Horace:
Well, where was you?

Jasper:
Where was? I was not splashing about in the pond. You've infuriated the old bag, and if we don't get those puppies back it is quite literally our heads! [trying to start the engine again] Oh, come on! Right, you better get out and check the tailpipe. We've got a condensation problem.

Horace:
[threateningly] One of these days I'm gonna be full up of you!

Horace:
[Gets out]

Jasper:
[Makes a face at him; Horace walks around to the back of the van, squats down and peers into the exhaust pipe, while Jasper desperately tries again to start the engine] Oh, do come on!

[Taps the gas pedal. The exhaust pipe explodes sending a clogged pear and a lot of exhaust into Horace's face]

Jasper:
There, ya see?

Anita:
[after believing Roger is taking Perdy, holding up her purse] Now, release my dog, or I'll hit you again!

Roger:
Your dog?

Anita:
Yes. That is my dog, will you let her go?

Roger:
Excuse me.

[lifts Perdy's leg as Pongo hides his head, turns back to Anita]

Roger:
He's a she.

Anita:
[nods] Mm-hmm.

Roger:
[Pongo appears from behind Anita; miserably] Hello, Pongo.

[Pongo whines]

Jasper:
[grabbing one of the puppies by the scruff of its neck after it bites him, then stuffing it into a bag; speaks through his gritting teeth at first] All right, come here, you... spotty little... dog!

Cruella De Vil:
Be sure to let me know when the blessed event occurs.

Anita:
[thinking that Cruella is talking about the baby] It won't be for another 8 months.

Cruella De Vil:
The puppies, darling. I have no use for babies.

Cruella De Vil:
My faith in your limited intelligence is momentarily restored.