Just Add Water

[first lines]

Ray Tuckby:
Thanks for coming. Would you like a receipt with that? Don't forget to take a mint.

Ray Tuckby:
Thanks for coming. Would you like a receipt with that? Don't forget to take a mint.

Ray Tuckby:
Thanks for coming. Would you like a receipt with that? Don't forget to take a mint.

Ray Tuckby:
Thanks for coming. Would you like a receipt with that? Don't forget to take a mint.

Ray Tuckby:
And how was your day?

Charlene:
I found a half-off coupon of Bounty paper towels, with no expiration. Isn't that something?

Ray Tuckby:
I guess it is, yeah. What about you son?

Eddie:
I busted some windows on a couple of houses down the street. I wanna burn down that shitbox up the street that that dead guy croaked in.

Mark Tuckby:
Sauerkraut is, without question, the superfood of the future.

Merl Striker:
Funny thing about change, it's like pulling off a bandage. Hurts like hell when you do it, but you always feel better after.

Mother:
You couldn't cook you way out of a Ziploc.

Penny:
Mom!

Mother:
No wonder you could never hold on to a man. You're gonna end up a lesbian, if you're not one already.

Eddie:
Eleven hundred bucks?

Ray Tuckby:
For college.

Eddie:
For college? [scoffs] What the hell's the matter with you, Ray? I got better things to do with this money and my time than to get some stupid education.

Ray Tuckby:
Nora, would you like to go on a date?

Nora:
Been waiting 18 years for you to ask...

Ray Tuckby:
Things are gonna have to change around here, Nora.

Ray Tuckby:
[watching tiny TV] Don't you think Happy Days is just the best?

Nora:
It *is* awfully good, there's not denying it.

Ray Tuckby:
We really do have quite a lot in common, don't you think?

Merl Striker:
Turned out the little twerp wasn't really that hard to take down. Just a bit of guts and determination from all of us, Dirk and company went over faster than a one-legged cat in a sandbox.

Spoonie:
What if I turn over a whole new loaf? Or whatever that is.

Ray Tuckby:
[suddenly stops kissing] What they hey was that?

Nora:
It's called a French kiss.

Ray Tuckby:
A what?

Ray Tuckby:
It's a little more intimate than a regular kiss. I read about it recently in one of those Harlequin books, over in the miscellaneous section, aisle 3.

Ray Tuckby:
Sure was different. Kinda like a toothbrush. But I liked it.

[last lines]

Merl Striker:
Maybe, the American dream *does* still exist. Even for my friend Ray. And even in a place like Trona.