Mostly Ghostly

Mrs. Murray:
And now, ladies and gentlemen, to kick off tonight's entertainment I am pleased to present Max the Magnificent and his equally magnificent assistant Traci Walker.

Mrs. Murray:
Max, I can't believe it. You made this fundraiser the most successful one the school has ever had. Thank you.

[repeated line]

Max Doyle:
From the light of Earth, the dark descends. Should they return, that all depends.

Max Doyle:
Hey, I can't risk a leg injury. There's a dance after the Halloween talent show, and I don't want to disappoint all the lucky girls who begged me for a shot.

Colin Doyle:
[scoffs] No girls talk to you.

Max Doyle:
Hey, yesterday I asked a girl to go to the dance with me and she said no. I call that talking!

John Doyle:
You know the best magic there is?

Max Doyle:
Colin remembering to flush.

Max Doyle:
[to Buster, the family dog] Dog spit. Don't you ever swallow? You're like Grandma on Thanksgiving.

Max Doyle:
[talking to himself] Am I a man or a mouse? I DO like cheese.

Max Doyle:
Mom? Dad? We have mice... with really... big... hands!

Phears:
Children, please. I realize you are in eternal pain, but just try, please, to walk it off.

Rebecca:
So, Traci, are you serious about your parents grounding you?

Traci:
I guess. I mean, I can't believe I got a "D" on yesterday's science test. I studied in between texting till midnight the day before.

[looks at her graded paper]

Traci:
Oh, my gosh. No way. "H2O" stands for water? I thought it meant "Hi to Only you."

Girlfriend:
Maybe you spend too much time texting.

Traci:
Seriously, why would you say that?

Max Doyle:
Dad, I forgot to ask. What's "paranormal?"

Colin Doyle:
[interjecting] Easy. It's two normals.

Phears:
We will meet again; and, if you tell anyone that you've seen me, my cape-dwelling friends and I will haunt them and make their lives unlivable. Understand? Tell no one - especially your parents. I know where you live, Max. When was the last time you saw your parents grovel for mercy?

Max Doyle:
At my Cousin Skeeter's piano recital?

Phears:
What?

Tara:
[telepathically] I need you to come to me - now!

Max Doyle:
Are you crazy? There's a whole bunch of people down there that I usually try to kill in video games.

Tara:
Here I'm the only one who can see you. Now, get over here, but be careful. They can't see you but they might be able to FEEL you.

Max Doyle:
I'm back, I'm alive, but my face hurts.

Max Doyle:
Let's see what junk my mom put in the truck.

Phears:
Come forward, my children. Forward. Take your place eternally tormenting the living. Enjoy.

Don't forget your backpack...

Don't forget your pen...

You dork!!