Almost an Angel

Terry Dean:
I'm dead aren't I? Where the hell am I? You God?

God:
You're not a religious man are you, Mr Dean?

Terry Dean:
No but, I did plan to get very religious just before I died. You know, just in case

God:
Yes

Terry Dean:
Left it a bit late, didn't I?

God:
Hmmm. Let me put it in language you'll understand. You're on probation, Mr Dean. Think of me as your probation officer

Terry Dean:
Probation officer? Sure

God:
I've been through your sheet, Mr Dean. You have a criminal record that started when you were none years old

Terry Dean:
Yeah, well... I don't suppose I can lie to you, Sir

God:
You can try. You're almost a mystery. In your entire life you did nothing but take. Yet at the end you gave the noblest gift; you gave your life for another being

Terry Dean:
Well it seemed like the right thing to do at the time

God:
Rubbish! It was instinct. If you'd had time to think you wouldn't have done it. Nevertheless, your instinct has earned you another chance. Probation, Mr Dean

Terry Dean:
How does that work?

God:
You will go back and dedicate yourself to helping others. Giving not taking. You will become an Angel of Mercy

Terry Dean:
An angel? Me?

God:
Probationary. Strictly on a trial basis. You will not speak of this incident to anyone.

Terry Dean:
Your honour, does this happen all the time when people get sent back to help out?

God:
From time to time, worthy people are chosen to be Angels of Mercy. But these are difficult times, Mr Dean. In this century you're the first scumbag we've sent back

Terry Dean:
Scumbag? That's a bit much, isn't it? Scumbag?