Christmas in the Clouds

Joe Clouds on Fire:
...My son Raymond is the big success around here. He went off to one of them big shot schools back East and got a big shot job with some big shot company and he married a big shot woman too. But then she ran off with some other big shot, so Ray came back here to be the big shot general manager of our tribe's new big shot resort.

Ray Clouds on Fire:
A representative from our organization will be staying at the Sky Mountain Resort, so that we may review your standards of service and publish a rating for your property in the new edition of the Worthington Travel Guide, which is published every two years.

Betty:
But that's like no warning.

Phil:
Great, you know, another cold winter morning. Hide the women and children, they're on their way!

Stu O'Malley:
No, I got one other place to review. Yeah, that Indian place. No! No! The Indian, like in teepee. Yeah, well, they say Jane Fonda stays there all the time so I guess that gives 'em at least one star.

Ramona:
You don't even know what he does for a living.

Grammy:
Oh he's in charge of something, that one.

Ramona:
And how do you know that?

Grammy:
He's got a laser.

Tina Littlehawk:
A laser printer, Grammy.

Ray Clouds on Fire:
He's already dead, you know. You're just, reorganizing the remains.

Earl:
I'm perpetuating the cycle.

Ray Clouds on Fire:
Earl, you're a chef. Part of your job is cutting up and cooking dead animals.

Earl:
They have dreams, you know. Just like us.

Mary:
Lindsey Fortune and Buffy Love. Ugh, I smell a couple of ski bunnies.

Ray Clouds on Fire:
Our people, our Nation, built this place. Ok, we own it and we run it and I am damn proud of that!

Katie:
Hey look! It's Warrior Mouse! Oh no, he got away. Here mousie mouse. Here mouse.

Boy:
Ah let him go, you probably poisoned him anyway putting all that paint on him.

Phil:
I wonder if she skies? [referring to Tina]

Ray Clouds on Fire:
No Phil, she's not a ski bunny.

Phil:
Oh come on Ray, there's a little ski bunny in... well, almost every woman. [referring to Mary]

Buffy:
What happened!

Phil:
Oh Clouds-on-Fire's old truck's on fire.

Muffy:
So what Nation are you?

Phil:
I'm a mix: Blackfoot, Salish, Ute and Cree.

Stu O'Malley:
Sounds like a law firm!

Tony:
This turkey is so good. Is it range grown?

Earl:
Old Edgar here? No, no, he was a pet.

Earl:
This particular buffalo had an on-screen performance in the movie Dances With Wolves. I don't think he ever got over it, 'cause he used to take pictures with the tourists, let the little kids ride him. We called him... Kevin. This little bunny wasn't a pet, he grew up in the wild. I imagine he was quite tame, it's usually the friendly ones that get hunted down first. So when the animal has completely bled to death, we rip the flesh from its bones and marinade it in a herb seasoning. Then it's roasted in our special ovens. [to various dining customers]

Ray Clouds on Fire:
My grandfather was legendary among our people as being a great hunter and tracker. And he was called Standing Elk Shadow because he crept up so close to an elk once, he was inside its shadow before it even knew he was there. But ah, one winter, everyone got sick and he had to go off alone and hunt. He was gone for a really long time. In fact, everyone thought that he was dead and, you know, that they would die too because he'd been their only hope. But one night, when the sky was lit up kinda like it is tonight, he came back. He came back with an enormous bear that he'd killed. And everyone ate and they got well again. So after that, he was called The Man Who Came Back With The Bear When The Clouds Were on Fire.

Bingo Caller:
G-50. Like I keep telling my sister-in-law, gee you don't look 50! [calling a Bingo game]

Earl:
It's a good day... It's a good day to dine.

Mary:
'The pain from his wound was enormous. And the dust from the plains had kicked up to sting his face and obscure all vision. But Buffalo Thunder rode the like the wind, after that wagon train and soon the pounding of his horse's hoofs became the beating of Vanessa's heart. Willing him closer and closer. And all her denials were but the dust in his eyes.' [encouraging Ray to go after Tina]

Ray Clouds on Fire:
What is this, the Indian chapter of the romance book club?

Joe Clouds on Fire:
Of course, Stu O'Malley only gave us three stars in that dumb guidebook, which I suspect is more to keep the prices down and the tourists away. Because so far he's been back here four times with his family.