Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

[Josh, Greg, White Josh and Hector have just woken up after spending all night away working on putting together a dining room table for Valencia, with who Josh has just moved in]

Josh Chan:
Valencia is so mad at me. We've been here all night, and I haven't even finished sorting the screws.

Greg Serrano:
Josh, there's still time to bail... on the table, I mean. We were friends with you before we even met this table.

White Josh:
Ah, the truth is, none of us really even like... the current table.

Greg Serrano:
I hate this table.

White Josh:
We don't like, um, this table.

Greg Serrano:
You're going to ruin your life... if you stick with this table.

White Josh:
Bros before... tables.

Hector:
I think it's a nice thing you're doing. Nicest thing I ever did for a girl was pull out.

Greg Serrano:
Hector...

Hector:
She has tandem parking, so after I'm there for a while, I have to pull out, which is such a pain 'cause it feels so great just to leave it in there. The worst is when it's all side of the street parking, 'cause then I have to park in the back. I don't get why there's a spot back there. It's so tight. It feels more like an exit. So then I'm going front, back, front, back... and it's all dirty in the back, so when I move it to the front, then that gets all dirty. I'm just happy I have a spot at all... 'cause I used to have to pay.

Rebecca Bunch:
Where are you from again?

Josh Chan:
West Covina, California.

Rebecca Bunch:
I remember that - that's near the beach, right?

Josh Chan:
Yeah, only two hours... well, four in traffic.

Paula Proctor:
So, clearly, you're still on this "I'm a good person" thing.

Rebecca Bunch:
I mean, Greg really got to me this morning.

Paula Proctor:
[passionately] Oh, come on. You are not a terrible person. Greg is just a... whiny little b*tch... and sexy. He should be a search term on porn sites.

Greg Serrano:
Chan, you're a nice guy. You always see things in the best light, but Valencia is right. Rebecca is into you. She always has been. She just wants to spend time with you. Why can't anyone see that? The whole case is just a pretext.

Chris:
A pretext. Is that like when the little text comes out before the real text? I learned about that in health class.