Die Hard with a Vengeance

[Simon reveals that he didn't ever intend to blow a school full of children]

Simon:
Of course not. I'm a soldier, I'm not a monster, even though I do sometimes work for monsters.

John McClane:
[prepares to shoot a wire down on Simon's helicopter] Say hello to your brother! [shoots down the wire]

Simon Gruber:
[sees what McClane did] Get out of here!

[As Gruber's helicopter flies away, with Simon shooting, the wire gets tangled in its rotor, causing it to crash and explode]

John McClane:
Yippie-ki-yay motherf***er!

[McClane shows up to stop Simon while he's having sex with Katya]

John McClane:
Hey, d*ckhead. Did I come at a bad time?

[Katya, furious, shoots at McClane's helicopter. Zeus laughs]

Zeus Carver:
I think she's pissed at you, McClane!

[McClane is flung out of a hole in the ground which Zeus, driving by, notices]

Zeus Carver:
You've got a hell of a way of flagging somebody down!

John McClane:
[to Jerry after thinking he's one of Simon's men] Are you a truck driver?

Jerry:
[sarcastically] No, I'm a beautician! Of course I'm a truck driver!

[While transporting McClane to Harlem]

Ricky Walsh:
Next, fourteen dump trucks stolen from a yard in Staten Island. Fourteen! Jesus! Somebody starting a construction company?

Joe Lambert:
No, it was John's landlady, gonna clean his apartment.

Zeus Carver:
How do Catholics do their thing?

John McClane:
North, South, West, East. [Zeus crosses himself in those directions] How much time?

Zeus Carver:
27 minutes.

John McClane:
Ha! 72nd and Broadway to Central Park South in three minutes! It's gotta be a f***in' record!

[Zeus's nephews visit their uncle at his electronics store with a new stereo]

Raymond:
Yo, uncle!

Dexter:
Come look at this!

Zeus Carver:
[looks at watch] It's ten after 9:00. Why aren't you in school?

Raymond:
Tony wants to sell you this.

Zeus Carver:
Tony? That no-neck dude they call "Bad T"?

Dexter:
He says he found it in a dumpster.

Zeus Carver:
If he keeps stealin' from people, they're gonna find him in a dumpster.

Raymond:
No, he didn't steal it! He says his uncle gave it to him.

Zeus Carver:
Mmmm-hmmm? Hand me that newspaper over there.

[Raymond hands Zeus the paper, who slaps him over the head]

Zeus Carver:
Don't ever let people use you. You're running all over town with stolen property! If you get caught, you get in trouble while he gets to deny the whole thing and walk away.

Dexter:
Y-You mean, you want us to take it back to Tony?

Zeus Carver:
No, I'll take it back to Tony … with a message.

Zeus:
Now, where you going?

Dexter:
School.

Zeus:
Why?

Raymond:
To get educated.

Zeus:
Why?

Dexter:
So we can go to college.

Zeus:
And why is that important?

Dexter:
To get 'espect.

Zeus:
Respect. Now, who's the bad guys?

Dexter:
Guys who sell drugs.

Raymond:
Guys who have guns.

Zeus:
And who's the good guys?

Dexter:
We're the good guys.

Zeus:
Who's gonna help you?

Raymond:
Nobody.

Zeus:
So who's gonna help you?

Dexter:
We're gonna help ourselves.

Zeus:
And who do we not want to help us?

Dexter and Raymond:
White people!

Zeus:
That's right. Now get on out of here. Go to school.

[Zeus and his nephews see McClane across the street from their electronics store sporting a sandwich board that says "I HATE N*GGERS"]

Zeus Carver:
Dial 9-1-1. Tell the police to get up here quick. Somebody's about to get killed. And get your butts to school, you hear me?

Raymond Carver:
[casually] Yeah.

Dexter Carver:
Yeah.

[Zeus goes out, notices a black gang across the street, then walks across to speak to McClane]

Zeus Carver:
Morning.

John McClane:
Good morning.

Zeus Carver:
You having a nice day, sir? You feelin' all right? [A car passing by honks its horn in response to McClane's message] Not to get too personal, but a white man standing in the middle of Harlem wearing a sign that says "I Hate N*ggers" has either got some serious personal issues, or not all his dogs are barking. [McClane yawns] Hey, I'm talking to you! Now you've got about ten seconds before those guys see you, and when they do, they will kill you, you understand? You are about to have a very bad day.

John McClane:
Tell me about it, Sir this is a police matter, for your own safety I'm gonna have... .

Zeus Carver:
You damn right it's a police matter, for you're own safety I suggest you hide your butt in my shop till the police get here.

Black Gang Member:
WHAT THE F***?!

Zeus Carver:
[looks to see the Gang Member at McClane with the sign] Oh sh*t.

John McClane:
Listen I'm a cop.

Zeus Carver:
What?

John McClane:
I'm on a case. Somebody blew Bonwit Teller's an hour ago. Did you hear about that on the news?

Zeus Carver:
Yeah.

John McClane:
The same a**hole that did that said I gotta come to Harlem and do this, or he's gonna blow up somethin' else, do you understand?

Zeus Carver:
Sh*t!

John McClane:
Listen I got a gun.

Zeus Carver:
They got ten guns.

John McClane:
When you get across the street, you should get across the street.

Zeus Carver:
Look start acting crazy, alright?

John McClane:
What?

Zeus Carver:
Like Looney Tunes, you know like Bellevue?

[A black gang has seen McClane with the "I hate n*ggers" sign and is surrounding him and Zeus]

Black Gang Leader:
Hey, Zeus. Is he a friend of yours?

Zeus Carver:
He look like a friend of mine? I think this dude has just escaped from some hospital. You know, like Bellevue?

[McClane and Zeus escape the black gang in a taxi cab]

John McClane:
That cut deep?

Zeus Carver:
How the hell would I know?

John McClane:
Just keep pressure on it. Jésus, right? John McClane. Thanks for covering my ass back there. I owe you one.

Zeus Carver:
Damn right, you owe me one! Do you have any idea what those guys are doing to my shop right now?

John McClane:
Chill out, Jésus.

Zeus Carver:
Chill out? What the f***? Are you trying to relate to me? Talk like a white man!

John McClane:
Look, Jésus, I'm sorry you got involved!

Zeus Carver:
Why're you calling me "Jésus"? Do I look Puerto Rican to you?

John McClane:
The guy back there called you Jésus.

Zeus Carver:
He didn't say "Jésus," he said "Hey, Zeus!" My name is Zeus.

John McClane:
Zeus?

Zeus Carver:
Yes! As in Father of Apollo? Mount Olympus? Don't-f***-with-me-or-I'll-shove-a-lightning-bolt-up-your-ass Zeus! You got a problem with that?

John McClane:
No, I don't have a problem.

[McClane and Zeus have just carjacked a taxi]

Zeus Carver:
I used to drive a cab. The fastest way to – [yells as McClane speeds off; McClane runs a red light, barely avoiding collision with several cars]

John McClane:
You were saying?

Zeus Carver:
I was saying, I used to drive a cab, and 9th Avenue is the fastest way south. We seem to be headed east.

Dr. Fred Schiller:
These people don't like to work anonymously. They want you to know who's doing it to you. So this name Simon is probably not an alias. It's probably Simon or some variation.

Joe Lambert:
[reads information off of a rap sheet] Simon, Robert E. Busted in '86. Extortion. Kidnapping. 10 to 15. Did 7 years for good behavior. Released on a state work furlough two months ago.

Inspector Cobb:
Check it. [Rick tosses something to McClane]

John McClane:
Thanks, Rick. Bob Simon was a bankrupt businessman who kidnapped his partner's daughter. He's a f***-up, not a psycho. The guy we're looking for is nuts.

Charles Weiss:
[comes in] A nut who knows a lot about bombs. We found this in a playground. Professional. Very cool stuff! You know … [thuds the bomb on Cobb's desk] Boom!

Inspector Walter Cobb:
You think you should slam it around like that, Charlie?

Charles Weiss:
It's unmixed. You can't hurt it. This stuff is cutting edge. It's a binary liquid.

Inspector Walter Cobb:
A what?

Charles Weiss:
Like epoxy. Two liquids. [puts a dab of the clear liquid on Cobb's desk] Now, either one by itself … [hits it with his shoe] you got nothing. But, mix them … [swirls the edge of a paper clip in both liquids] Ricky? [Ricky Walsh moves aside and Charlie throws the paperclip at a chair. The mixture explodes and throws the chair all the way across the room]

Connie Kowalski:
Charlie, you're gonna be wearin' that chair up your ass!!

Inspector Walter Cobb:
Christ almighty, Charlie!

Charles Weiss:
[pretending to have not heard them] Like I said very cool stuff. Now, with a package like this, you get a warning. Now, the bomb has to arm itself. You'll see the red liquid pump into the clear before it detonates.

John McClane:
How long before?

Charles Weiss:
Ten seconds, two minutes, it could be anything. But once it's mixed, be somewhere else!

John McClane:
Hey, can you pick locks?

Zeus Carver:
Is this one of those black things again?

John McClane:
Will you stop with that racist sh*t?

John McClane:
Listen, you fail, I cover your ass. I fail, you cover my ass.

Zeus Carver:
And if we both fail?

John McClane:
Then we're both f***ed! Go now, drive. Get to that phone booth by 10:20! Go!

Zeus Carver:
[mutters to himself] My lucky f***ing day...

[After McClane and Zeus "requisition" of a man's car]

Zeus Carver:
Hey, who was the twenty-first President?

Man:
Go f*** yourself!

Zeus Carver:
That dude was pissed!

John McClane:
He'll feel better when he looks in the back seat.

Zeus Carver:
Oh, sh*t, that was my gold bar!

Zeus Carver:
Wall Street is south!

John McClane:
Stop yelling! I got a headache! And the best way south is not 9th Avenue. It's through the park.

Zeus Carver:
[sees a narrow gap between two cars] Oh, dear.

Zeus Carver:
I told you Park Drive is always jammed!

John McClane:
I didn't say "Park Drive". [turns the cab and drives onto the sidewalk, cutting through Central Park] I said "through the park".

[McClane and Zeus are speeding through Central Park in a taxicab]

Zeus Carver:
Watch-it, watch-it, watch-it, watch-it--Are you aiming for these people?

John McClane:
No! [Wilhelm scream is heard from a pedestrian jumping out of the way] Maybe that mime.

[To reach the payphone at the IRT Broadway - Seventh Avenue Line's Wall Street station, Zeus jumps the turnstile and is seen by a transit cop, who chases him and trains a Glock on him]

Zeus Carver:
[slowly] I have to answer that phone.

Transit Cop:
Get 'em up!

Zeus Carver:
Look, if you have to shoot me, then you go ahead, and you shoot me! But I have to answer this phone, alright?'!' [picks up the receiver] I'm here.

Simon Gruber:
And McClane?

Zeus Carver:
He's on his way. Uh, you know, he's a little slow. He's kinda outta shape.

Simon Gruber:
The rules applied to both of you. I'm afraid this is noncompliance. Goodbye. [hangs up. The screeching of wheel flanges can be heard from inside the tunnel]

Zeus Carver:
Trust me guys. Duck. [He immediately assumes the brace position. The downtown #3 train that the bomb has been planted in enters the station. At the back of the tenth car, McClane smashes the panel on the door and throws the bomb out onto the tracks. As he does that, the front wheels of the first car pass over a trip wire over the inner rail that activates the detonator. The bomb goes off in midair, causing the last car to separate from the wheel bogies. The carbody slides along the island platform, taking out the station columns and signs, emitting a large plume of dust at the station entrances on the street. The transit cop stands still, petrified at the scene]

Zeus Carver:
Get down! [He pulls the transit cop under the stairs. The derailed car hits the stairway and turns on its side]

[A bystander is asking Walsh why all of the police are leaving]

Ricky Walsh:
Come on, Pamela, look at your watch! It's coming up on shift change! The bean counters are worried about overtime, so we're sending everybody back to the precinct to punch out! The next shift's gonna be here in a minute.

Pamela:
You are so full of sh*t, Walsh!

Ricky Walsh:
[Bows to her] Thank you. [He hears a low rumble and walks over to the corner, trying to find out what the noise is] What the hell?

[A parade of fourteen dump trucks come trundling around the corner. They pass Walsh, ignoring him waving his hands frantically]

Ricky Walsh:
Hey, whoa! Whoa-whoa! [Simon approaches him]

Simon Gruber:
Detective! [flashes his identification] Bob Thompson. City Engineer's office. We'd like to get an idea of the damage. [Mathias Targo jumps onto the next passing truck]

Ricky Walsh:
Man, you guys really got here fast!

Simon Gruber:
[with faux-American accent] Well … it's Wall Street, sir. A lot of money here. Lot of opinion makers--the mayor doesn't want to piss off, you know. Is this it?

[They reach the plaza above the station. Simon pretends shock]

Simon Gruber:
Holy Toledo! Somebody had fun! [turns to Walsh] I'd appreciate it if you'd show my associates the way down. [smiles and exchanges eye contact with Walsh. After a pause, Walsh gives in]

Ricky Walsh:
Yeah! Yeah, sure. [turns to two cops by the police barricades] Jimmy! You got the flashlight? Murphy, come on, you too! [Two cops are waved over to lead two of Simon's thugs and Otto down the stairs into the wreckage]

[Walsh leads three of Simon's henchmen into the subway station]

Ricky Walsh:
Yeah, yeah we snapped a couple of the steam pipes, it's like a sauna. We got the subway guys to shut down the third rail. [We see two of Simon's men using syringe guns on the two cops sent to escort them]

Foreman:
Emergency lighting?

Ricky Walsh:
And there's still some … [He hears Otto drawing a pistol] HEY! [Otto shoots him twice]

Foreman:
No shooting!! [Otto replies in German] Speak English! [The two other henchmen, who have donned the cops' uniforms, step past Otto]

First "Cop":
Otto doesn't speak English! Do ya, Otto?

"Foreman":
Where the hell did we get this guy?

Second "Cop":
He's one of Targo's thugs!

[One of the guards has been trapped by Simon's men in his office and doesn't see Katya opening the door into the room. He manages to contact the front desk, not knowing that the front desk guard has been replaced by one of Simon's men]

Mischa:
Front desk.

Federal Reserve Guard #2:
Yes, call the police! Get your ass down here right now! I'm under attack!

Mischa:
Hey, just relax mate! Maybe you'll live through this!

[The guard, not trusting Mischa, grabs a shotgun and starts firing towards the door behind which Simon and his men are standing, calmly waiting. As he fires with no success, he fails to see Katya pull out a long curved knife, and she slashes it through his neck. As he begins to fall, she slashes a second time through his neck, spins around, and stabs him in the chest. As he doubles over, she stabs him in the back. Before she can stab the guy any more, Simon grabs her, twists her hand, and pins her against the wall, restraining her. He glares disapprovingly at her]

Simon Gruber:
I think he's dead, my dear.

[Two Reserve guards are talking with two maintenance workers]

Federal Reserve Guard #1:
Whaddaya think, guys? Will you have to fix it?

Deputy Marshal #1:
[inspecting the alarms] Yeah it's tippin' alright.

Federal Reserve Guard #1:
I'll be right back. [He opens the door and finds Simon pointing a gun at his head. He immediately dives to the floor and draws his gun, but the two repairmen are now pointing submachine guns at him and his comrade]

[McClane and Zeus are arguing]

Zeus Carver:
You were gonna call me a n*gger, weren't you?

John McClane:
No, I wasn't!

Zeus Carver:
Yes, you were!

John McClane:
No!

Zeus Carver:
Then what were you gonna call me?!

John McClane:
A**HOLE! How's that, a**hole?! What, you got some f***in' problem with me 'cause I'm white, Zeus?! Is that it?! Have I oppressed you?! Have I oppressed your people somehow?! I'll tell you what your f***in' problem is! You're a racist!

Zeus Carver:
[Stunned] What?!

John McClane:
You're a racist! You don't like me 'cause I'm white!

Zeus Carver:
I don't like you because you're gonna get me killed!