Elves

Kirsten:
[after catching her brother spying on her] I'm your f***ing sister.

Willy:
Yeah, you've got f***ing big tits and I'm going to tell everybody I saw them.

Kirsten's Mother:
Your father's in the study.

Kirsten:
What? No. Grandfather's in the study. Dad is dead.

Kirsten's Mother:
Your grandfather is your grandfather AND your father!

Willy:
Is everything all right?

Kirsten:
No, Willy, Gramps is a Nazi.

Kirsten's Mother:
You look terrible.

Kirsten:
Yeah, well, I had a rough day at work... Santa got murdered.

Kirsten:
My cat is the only friend I have left.

Mike Mcgavin:
I need to know the connection between the elves and the Nazis!

Dead Santa:
[whispers] Santa said ORAL.