Fool Coverage

Porky Pig:
Now, w-where did I put that screwdriver? I bet I l-left it in the oven. [Looks inside oven with a lit match] Ah, h-here it is.

Daffy Duck:
No accidents in the home, eh? You should never use a match to look in the oven.

Porky Pig:
Oh, f-f-fiddlesticks.

Daffy Duck:
You should use a flashlight, like so. [Peeks inside oven with flashlight; it explodes] Must have been a short in my battery.

Daffy Duck:
I just gotta prove this meatball that the home is loaded with pitfalls. Aha, the hall closet. [Peeks in closet, which is full to bursting] Aha, just as I thought. A veritable booby trap. I'll just prime it a little. [Adds more stuff, then goes to Porky] Do you have a tennis racket I could borrow?

Porky Pig:
N-no, I don't.

Daffy Duck:
Hmm. Water skis?

Porky Pig:
Uh-uh.

Daffy Duck:
Golf clubs?

Porky Pig:
N-n-no.

Daffy Duck:
Outrigger canoe?

Porky Pig:
N-n-no, I don't.

Daffy Duck:
Croquet set? Elephant gun? Sidesaddle?

Porky Pig:
N-n-no.

Daffy Duck:
A yo-yo?

Porky Pig:
W-why yes.

Daffy Duck:
Well, where is it?

Porky Pig:
R-right there in the hall closet.

Daffy Duck:
Why didn't you say so in the first place?

[Runs to hall closet and opens door; all the stuff falls on him; emerges with yo-yo]

Daffy Duck:
Good morning, sir. I represent the Hotfoot Casualty Underwriters Insurance Company of Schenectady.

Porky Pig:
B-b-but I...

Daffy Duck:
As everybody knows, most accidents occur right around the home. A Hot Foot accident policy pays you for any injury incurred in the home.

Porky Pig:
B-b-but I, b-b-but I...

Daffy Duck:
For instance, Hotfoot pays you one million dollars for a black eye.

Porky Pig:
B-but I don't wa... One million dollars for a b-black eye?

Daffy Duck:
Oh, of course, there are a few minor provisions. I'll read it to you. [Puts earmuffs on Porky] "Provided the accident occurs as the result of a stampede of wild elephants in your own living room, on the Fourth of July - of any year - between the hours of 3:55 and 4:00 p.m., during a hailstorm." [Removes earmuffs] Did that come through okay?

Porky Pig:
Why...

Daffy Duck:
All right, just sign here on the dotted line.

Porky Pig:
Oh, b-but I don't want a policy. I n-never have accidents in my home. Now you'll have to excuse me, I have a g-great deal to do today. Good day, sir. [escorts Daffy out the door]

Daffy Duck:
Oh, he doesn't have accidents in his home, eh?

Daffy Duck:
[Dazed from all the mishaps he had to endure] I represent the something-or-other insurance company. Could I interest you in an accident policy?

Porky Pig:
Why, c-certainly.

Daffy Duck:
Our policy... What did you say?

Porky Pig:
After w-w-witnessing your unfortunate mishaps about the house, I'm r-ready to sign on the dotted line. T-t-there, now all I have to do to get a million dollars is get a b-black eye.

Daffy Duck:
Provided the accident occurs as the result of a stampede of wild elephants in your own home between 3:55 and 4:00 p.m. on the Fourth of July during a hailstorm. [Evil laugh]

Porky Pig:
I kn-kn-knew there'd be a catch to it. [Suddenly a pack of elephants stampede into Porky's house]

Daffy Duck:
Stampede of wild elephants! [Looks at watch] 3:57 p.m.! [Hears marching music outside; looks at calendar] Fourth of July! [Sticks head out door, is pelted with hailstones] Hail storm! Oh, no!

Porky Pig:
Oh, yes. A b-b-black eye. Pay me.

Daffy Duck:
Oh, no. It distinctly says "a stampede of wild elephants and one baby zebra." [Aside to audience] I just added that one. [Suddenly a baby zebra runs into the living room, trampling Daffy] And one baby zebra.