Hitch

Will Smith's easygoing charm makes Hitch the kind of pleasant, uplifting romantic comedy that you could recommend to almost anyone--especially if there's romance in the air. As suave Manhattan dating consultant Alex "Hitch" Hitchens, Smith plays up the smoother, sophisticated side of his established screen persona as he mentors a pudgy accountant (Kevin James) on the lessons of love. The joke, of course, is that Hitch's own love life is a mess, and as he coaches James toward romance with a rich, powerful, and seemingly inaccessible beauty named Allegra (Amber Valetta), he's trying too hard to impress a savvy gossip columnist (Eva Mendes) with whom he's fallen in love. Through mistaken identities and mismatched couples, director Andy Tennant brings the same light touch that made Drew Barrymore's Ever After so effortlessly engaging. As romantic comedies go, Hitch doesn't offer any big surprises, but as a date movie it gets the job done with amiable ease and style. --Jeff Shannon

Genre: Comedy, Romance
Director(s): Andy Tennant
Production: Sony Pictures
  4 wins & 24 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.6
Metacritic:
58
Rotten Tomatoes:
68%
PG-13 (Parental Guidance Suggested)
Year:
2005
118
$177,575,142
Website
7,982 Views

Hitch:
Now, on the one hand, it is very difficult for a man to even speak to someone who looks like you. But, on the other hand, should that be your problem?

Sara:
So life's kind of hard all around.

Hitch:
Not if you pay attention. I mean, you're sending all the right signals - no earrings, heels under two inches, your hair is pulled back, you're wearing reading glasses with no book, drinking a Grey Goose martini, which means you had a hell of a week and a beer just wouldn't do it. And if that wasn't clear enough, there's always the "fuck off" that you have stamped on your forehead. because who is going to believe there is a man out there that can sit down beside a woman he doesn't know and genuinely be interested in who she is, what she does, without his own personal agenda?

Sara:
Yeah, I wouldn't even know what that would look like. So what would a guy like that say?

Hitch:
Well, he'd say, "My name is Alex Hitchens and I'm a consultant," but she wouldn't be interested in that because she would be just counting the seconds until he left...

Sara:
... Thinking he was like every other guy...

Hitch:
... Which life experience has taught her is a virtual certainty... but then he'd ask her name, and what she did for a living and she might blow him off, or she might say... ?

Sara:
"I'm Sara Melas and I run the gossip column at The Standard." Then he would ask all these penetrating questions about it because he's sincerely, if atypically, interested...

Hitch:
No.

Sara:
No?

Hitch:
He'd be interested... but he would see that there was no way of possibly making her realize, that he was for real.

Sara:
Ah...He could be funny, and charming, and refreshingly original.

Hitch:
Wouldn't help.

Sara:
Don't ya hate it when that happens?

Hitch:
Not really... they'd probably both lead the lives they were headed toward, and my guess is... they'd do just fine. It's a pleasure to have met you, Sara Melas.

Hitch:
So, tell me about her.

Vance:
Have you ever met someone, and you knew right away she was gonna be important to you? Not just because of her looks, but that X factor?

Hitch:
How'd you meet her?

Vance:
Actually, I was in a shop buying pajamas for my mom-

Hitch:
And by that, of course, you mean you were buying lingerie for another woman.

Vance:
Yes. You can't help where you meet somebody. And the lingerie is for a woman I'm no longer seeing... But anyway, the girl I met, the one I was talking about... She's so sweet, funny, Southern. She gives me her number... Now she won't return my phone calls. I don't know what it is about her. I just can't get her out of my mind. You know? Food has lost its taste. Colors, they seem dull. Things that used to matter... I don't know, they just no longer do. I think things aren't gonna snap back unless I... Unless I bang her.

Hitch:
...Excuse me?

Vance:
You know, bang her. Clear my head. Get in, get off, get out.

Hitch:
...I think you may have misunderstood what I do, exactly.

Vance:
[taken back] No, I was told that you help guys get in there!

Hitch:
Right, but see, here's the thing - my clients actually like women. "Hit it and quit it" is not my thing.

Vance:
Let me make one thing clear to you, rabbi, I need professional help.

Hitch:
Well, that is for damn certain. And I'm glad you can admit it because generally, that's the hardest part.

Vance:
[grabs Hitch by the wrist] You see what I'm doing? This is what I'm about - power suit, power tie, power steering. People can wince, cry, beg, but eventually they do what I want.

Hitch:
[not intimidated] Oh! So that's, like, a metaphor?

Vance:
Oh, yeah.

Hitch:
Right. Well, see, I'm more of a literal kind of guy. So when I do this... [he reverses the grip, twists Vance's arm back and slams him on the table] This is more like me saying that I will literally break your shit off if you ever touch me again. Mmkay, pumpkin?

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