Hold Me Thrill Me Kiss Me

Eli:
Oh my God, I thought you were dead!

Twinkle:
Only in your dreams.

Eli:
Oh, no. In my dreams, you were alive.

Sabra:
What's for dinner?

Dannie:
Tacos and onion rings.

Sabra:
Watch the grease, will ya? I don't need any zits poppin' up on my ass while I'm filming.

Sabra:
So did he ask for my number?

Dannie:
No.

Sabra:
You didn't tell him where I was today, did you?

Dannie:
What difference would that make? You met him at a strip club, ya took him home, you handcuffed him, you really think a little porno movie is gonna shock him?

Laszlo:
I have a dream! That all the mothers will die! Then I'll be free at last! Hallelujah, good God almighty, I'll be free at last!

Dannie:
You're not gonna try anything, are ya?

Eli:
Why, do you want me to?

Dannie:
No, I'm a virgin.

Eli:
Groovy.

Dannie:
So. What floats your boat?

Eli:
Fast cars, beautiful women, tropical beaches.

Dannie:
So what're ya doin' in El Monte?

Laszlo:
Hey, Sabra, nice hole!

Sabra:
Bud, are you just gonna sit there and let this a**hole insult me?

Eli:
Well, Sabra, you do have a big hole in your dress.

Sabra:
I know I seem a little bit on the kinky side, but deep down I'm a sensitive and vulnerable girl. Don't let my dildoes, vibrators and handcuffs fool you.

Sabra:
He bought you a fifty dollar tattoo? Has he popped your cherry yet?

Dannie:
You're the "C" word!

Sabra:
Don't call me a c*nt you little c*nt! I will wash your mouth out with soap!

Olga:
Here in America they go for the young people. But in Budapest they have a great reverence for the has-beens.

Sabra:
Bud, I'm making an exception tonight. I don't usually bring home drunk, lonely, young studs.

Sabra:
Do you always tip like that, Bud?

Eli:
[smiling drunkenly] I like limber strippers.

Sabra:
Well, then we're perfect for each other, aren't we?

Sabra:
Hey, would you like to come over after I get off work and do me doggie style?

Eli:
Aaa, no thanks. By the way, wha'd ya do to me last night? I can barely walk.

Sabra:
No pain, no gain. So what'd ya think, ya up for it or what?

[Eli shakes head, no]

Sabra:
(sighs, standing up to walk away) Fine, guess I'll just have to come home and jack off by myself. Your loss, big boy.

Eli:
I wanna rent one of your trailers.

Duane:
I only rent to fine, upstanding members of the community, do you have any references?

Eli:
Well, I know Sabra and Dannie.

Duane:
[momentarily horrified] I'll make believe I didn't hear that.

Sabra:
Look I know you don't wanna kiss me, but you can titty f*** me real quick, c'mon you hate your mother, don't you? Take your aggressions out on me!

Eli:
Stop! Get outta here, will ya?

Sabra:
Oh, fine! But I don't want you going anywhere near my baby sister! You're some kind of sick pervert, aren't you? If I so much as hear that you touched her with that limp fag cock, so help me God I will set you on fire.

Eli:
Like you did your parents?

Sabra:
That was my boyfriend not me you a**hole!

Laszlo:
[answering phone] Hello?

[listens then shouts]

Laszlo:
F*** off and die! [hangs up]

Laszlo:
I'm just a repeat offender, I will offend again!

Laszlo:
Are you on dope?