Horton Hears a Who!

Horton:
There's a tiny person on that speck that needs my help!

The Mayor of Who-ville:
I have 96 daughters and 1 son.

Horton:
[laughing] Whoa! Busy guy.

Horton:
I meant what I said, and I said what I meant.

Morton:
[sighs] An elephant's faithful one hundred percent.

Horton:
That's my code, my motto.

Katie:
In my world everyone is a pony, and they all eat rainbows, and poop butterflies.

The Mayor of Who-ville:
Seriously, who is this? Is this Burt from accounting?

Councilman:
This is the chairman...

Horton:
Idiot! You're finished in this town! Is that understood? Finished! You Boob!

[brief pause while the chairman splutters]

Horton:
I'm just joking.

Councilman:
Eh heh, good one.

The Mayor of Who-ville:
Horton, I'd like you to meet my wife, Sally.

Sally O'Malley:
You exist! This means my husband isn't crazy. Hooray!

The Mayor of Who-ville:
And these are some of my daughters, Hildy, Helga, Hula, Heidi, and Hedy.

Hedy, Heidi, Hildy, Helga:
Hi!

The Mayor of Who-ville:
And this is Miss Yelp, my loyal assistant. And this is Dr. Larue.

Dr. Mary Lou Larue:
You saved us!

The Mayor of Who-ville:
And Burt from Accounting, and Mrs. McGillicuddy. And Mr. FarFloogin of the Cloogin FarFloogins. And the old man in the bathtub.

Sally O'Malley:
Honey, let's not overwhelm the poor guy, he's never gonna remember all these names.

Horton:
Well, I'll try my best: Sally, Chairman, Hildy, Helga, Hula, Heidi, and Hedy. Miss Yelp. Dr. Larue, Burt from accounting, Mrs. McGillicuddy, Mr. FarFloogin of the Cloogin FarFloogins. And wasn't there an old guy in a shower?

The Mayor of Who-ville:
Mmm, Bathtub.

Horton:
[a bit mad he didn't remember the name] Oh, Yeah!

Morton:
Horton, the kangaroo has sent Vlad!

Horton:
Vlad? Vlad, Vlad... I know two Vlads. There's the bad Vlad... And then there's bunny Vlad, the one that makes cookies!

Morton:
...Yeah, Horton, she's sending you a bunny with cookies. I think it's safe to say it's the bad Vlad.

Horton:
Yeah, good call.

Horton:
[thanking people] And Morton, for being the only one who stood by me. Well not right by me; he hid in the bushes sending me good thoughts. He's small.

Morton:
Dude, you are a warrior poet.

The Mayor of Who-ville:
So Jojo, what's uh, what's shakin'? What's happenin'? What's the word?

Horton:
This entire jungle is a house of death!

The Mayor of Who-ville:
Listen, Horton, I've gotta go. Apparently there's a problem with a giant meatball.

Horton:
You just take care of that meatball sir and leave the freaking out to me.

Horton:
We must become invisible, travel silently, for there are forces that would seek to destroy us.

Horton:
Ahaha! To the top of Mount Nool, as fast as lightning, away I go!

Rudy:
Mom, Mom! Please, you are so weird, don't do this to me.

Kangaroo:
What do you think you're doing?

Tommy:
Oh, you guys with worlds are in trouble!

Kangaroo:
Have you forgotten what we've discussed?

Horton:
Oh no, I'm an elephant and elephants never forget, it's a curse really! I remember, I was on my head and you said hmm and I looked up and you said ,what are you doing?, and I said the thing about the speck, then you pulled my ears and you poked me in the forehead...

Kangaroo:
Horton!

Horton:
Well you did.

Kangaroo:
Give me that clover Horton now

Horton:
[looking down the canyon] It's just a straight plummet to certain death.

Horton:
All right, I gotta get this speck up to the top of Mount Nool A.S.A.P, whatever that means, probably 'act swiftly, awesome pachyderm'! I mean, how hard can that be?

Horton:
This looks kinda... precarious. Well nothing to worry, obviously when they build a bridge like this they take into account that elephants will be crossing here.

Horton:
Sorry, this is where we get off. [slingshots Bad Vlad off tree] Cool line, usually I can't think of those things until later.

Horton:
I will make monkeys of these monkeys, for it is their destiny!

Horton:
I have to think light. I'm light as a feather. I am light as a feather. [a feather lands on the bridge and the plank gives way] Heavy feather.

Vlad:
[greedily happy] Oooh! Score!

Horton:
[In a deep voice as he's hit with a Wickersham banana bomb] Whoa! I can feel the diplomatic processes beginning to break down!

Horton:
[over intercom] Is everything okay down there?

The Mayor of Who-ville:
[in shock] Uh... I don't know. You tell me. You're the one holding the speck.

The Mayor of Who-ville:
[after being told no one believes him] Horton believes me.

Councilman:
[to the mayor] Nothing ever goes wrong in WhoVille. Never has, never *will*. You bluthering boob.

Councilman:
Who wants the festivities of the Who Centennial to proceed as planned?

[the people of WhoVille begin to cheer]

Councilman:
And who wants to celebrate the Who Centennial, in an underground storage area?

Obnoxious Who:
*Yeah!*

[Horton is being roped while the people of WhoVille make noise to be heard]

Horton:
Listen, *please*! It's the most beautiful thing ever!

Yummo Wickersham:
I don't hear nothin'.

Narrator:
[epilogue] And so, all ended well for both Horton and Who's, and for all in the jungle, even kangaroos. So let that be a lesson to one and to all; a person is a person, no matter how small.

Horton:
[in imitation of cheaply dubbed anime] I'll make monkeys out of these monkeys!

Morton:
Just this once, be faithful 99 percent of the time! I mean, I've never gone 99 percent on anything, and I think I'm awesome.

Horton:
A person's a person, no matter how small.

Horton:
I meant what I said and I said what I meant. An elephant's faithful one hundred percent.

Dr. Mary Lou Larue:
You shaved ush!

The Mayor of Who-ville:
Horton is a giant elephant in the sky! [Everyone looks up] . Don't bother looking, he's invisible.

Heather:
Horton! We've all got our own little clovers with worlds on them!

Jessica:
Mine is called Jessica-Land and everyone worships Queen Jessica because Jessica is so beautiful!

Katie:
In my world,everyone's a pony and they all eat rainbows-and poop butterflies!

Horton:
Alright, I need to get this clover to the top of Mount Nool A.S.A.P.whatever that means. Probably, Act Swiftly, Awesome Pachyderm. [He sees a rope bridge over a deadly chasam] . It's a sheer drop to certain death.

Kangaroo:
And that is why my Rudy is pouch-schooled!

Horton:
We're a club. We're a group. We can take a vote on the issues. We can be a secret society, and no one else can join, unless they wear a funny hat!

Kangaroo:
The jungle is not a place for wild animals!

Tommy:
We won't tell anyone. And if we do, we'll tell them not to tell anyone.

Narrator:
Now some people out there, I think I know who, may find they agree with that sour Kangaroo. There can't really be people as small as a mite. Well, there can and there are, because Horton was right.