Isle of Dogs

Narrator:
Canine saturation has reached epidemic proportions. An outbreak of snout fever rips through the city of Megasaki. Blizzards of infected fleas, worms, ticks, and lice menace the citizenship. Dog flu threatens to cross the species threshold and enter the human disease pool. In a special midnight session at the Municipal Dome, Mayor Kobayashi of Uni Prefecture issues emergency orders calling for a hasty quarantine: the expulsion and containment of all breeds, both stray and domesticated. By official decree, Trash Island becomes an exile colony.

Mayor Kobayashi:
(in English Version) Banish all dogs. Save Megasaki City of Uni Prefecture!

[The audience applauses]

Narrator:
The Isle of Dogs.

Narrator:
The exiled dog population grows weaker, sadder, angrier. [A sack lands on the island] Desperate.

[Igor and his pack of white dogs check it out, but they see the alpha dogs Rex, King, Duke, Boss, and Chief, the leader, who arrived and start growling at each other, getting ready to fight, but Rex interrupts]

Rex:
Wait a second. Before we attack each other and tear ourselves to shreds like a pack of maniacs, let's just open the sack first and see what's actually in it. It might not even be worth the trouble.

[Igor and his pack murmur for a second]

Igor:
All right.

[Rex opens the sack, and inside it is garbage with maggots all over it as Igor's pack and the alpha dogs look at it]

Rex:
A rancid apple core, two worm-eaten banana peels, a moldy rice cake, a dried up pickle, a tin of sardine bones, a pile of broken egg shells, an old smushed-up rotten gizzard with maggots all over it—

Chief:
Okay, it's worth it.

[Both dog packs start the fight, then Chief grabs Igor's ear and rips it out, ending the fight]

Chief:
Get out of here and don't come back.

[Igor and his pack turn to leave]

Dog:
Sheesh, Igor, I think he chewed your ear off.

Igor:
Mm-hmm.

Rex?:
I used to sleep on a lambswool bean bag next to an electric space heater. That's my territory. I'm an indoor dog.

King?:
I starred in 22 consecutive Doggy Chop commercials. Look at me now, I couldn't even land an audition.

Boss?:
I was the lead mascot for an undefeated high school baseball team [sneeze]. I lost all my spirit. I'm depressing.

Duke?:
I only ask for what I've always had. A balanced diet, regular grooming, and a, uh, general physical once a year.

King:
[to Rex] Okay, I got a question. What's your favorite food?

Rex:
A double portion of Doggy Chop from the can mixed into a bowl of broken Puppy Snaps with a vitamin crushed up into it.

Boss?:
King's the spokes-dog for that. He's the Doggy Chop dog.

King:
Used to be.

Duke?:
Was that your daily meal?

Rex:
Not always. My master was a schoolteacher and we weren't rich, you know. You?

King:
A center cut Kobe ribeye, seared on the bone with salt and pepper.

Rex:
Wow.

King:
It was my birthday supper, every year.

Boss:
Mine's hot sausage, yakitori style. The snack vendor always saved me one on game days.

King:
[to Duke] Duke?

Duke?:
Uh, green tea ice cream. My master had a sweet tooth, I probably inherited from her. [Boss sneezes] You heard the rumor, right? About Doggy Chop.

Boss?:
Remind us again.

King:
What rumor?

Duke?:
They folded.

Boss?:
Oh, no.

Rex?:
Hmm.

Boss?:
Doggy--? Doggy Chop folded?

Rex?:
[to Chief] How about you, Chief? What was your favorite food?

[Duke, King, and Boss turn to Chief]

Chief:
Me? Uh, I don't care. Garbage, trash, scraps of rubbish. I'm used to leftovers. [King, Rex, Duke and Boss murmur] Of course, I wasn't always a stray.

[Rex, Boss, Duke and King turns to Chief again]

Rex?:
Wait, what'd you say?

Chief?:
I said, of cou-- I wasn't always a stray.

[King, Duke, Boss, and Rex asks Chief why he wasn't a stray. Chief sighs]

Chief:
Rex! King! Duke! Boss! You made it!

Rex:
What happened to you?

Chief:
I took a bath.

Rex:
What, he's got soap?

Chief:
Just a little.

Rex:
You're too fluffy.

Chief:
We played fetch.

Rex:
With a stick?

Chief:
With a hunk of rubber radiator tubing.

Rex:
And you brought it back to him?

Chief:
Yeah. He's a good boy.

Rex:
Don't you tell me that! I'm the one that tried to make you be loyal to him, in the first place.

Chief:
Stop. Stop! This is the rendezvous. Where's that trash-tram taking you?

Rex:
You think we booked this ride through a travel agent? We were fighting for our lives in a high-velocity trash-processor while you were getting scrubbed and brushed.

Chief:
Jump.

Rex:
Where?

Chief:
Here!

Rex:
When?

Chief:
Now!

Rex:
Why?

Chief:
WHAT?!

Rex:
Let's take a vote. All in favor of jump... [the trash-tram stops]

Chief:
I'm standing by, Master Atari.