Licorice Pizza

Alana Kane:
[during a fight] Este, don't you even look at me! Don't you even look at me! You're always looking at me!

Este Kane:
Oh, my...

Alana Kane:
What are you doing?

Este Kane:
I didn't even say anything!

Alana Kane:
What are you doing? What are you thinking, huh? "I'm Este. I work for mom and dad. I'm perfect! I'm a real estate agent. Alana doesn't have her life together. Alana brings home stupid boyfriends all the time."

Este Kane:
I mean...

Alana Kane:
I knew it! I knew that was what you were thinking. You're always thinking things, you thinker! You thinker! You think things!

Jon Peters:
How big is your penis hole?

Gary Valentine:
...normal-sized?

Jon Peters:
How do you know that?

Alana Kane:
What does your penis look like?

Lance Brannigan:
What?

Alana Kane:
What does your penis look like?

Lance Brannigan:
Like a regular penis, I guess.

Alana Kane:
Is it circumcised?

Lance Brannigan:
Yeah...

Alana Kane:
Then you're a f***ing Jew!

Gary Valentine:
You say everything twice.

Alana Kane:
I don't say everything twice! What is this, say everything twice?

Matthew:
Do you have a boyfriend?

Alana Kane:
Yes and no. I don't know.

Matthew:
Is he a sh*t?

Alana Kane:
Yeah. Yeah.

Matthew:
They're all shits, aren't they?

Alana Kane:
You don't even know what's going on in the world. You think that the world revolves around Gary Valentine and whatever stupid sh*t you come up with.

Gary Valentine:
It does.

Alana Kane:
No it doesn't.

Gary Valentine:
Yes, it does.

Alana Kane:
I'm cooler than you. Don't forget it.

Gary Valentine:
I don't need you to tell me whether I'm cool or not, old lady.

Alana Kane:
What was that?

Gary Valentine:
I said "milady".

Jon Peters:
My only problem in life is that I love tail too much. I love it. I love it so much. I love it so much. Is that your sister?

Gary Valentine:
No.

Jon Peters:
It's your girlfriend?

Gary Valentine:
No.

Jon Peters:
I love it so much, it's gonna kill me one day. You know how much tail I get?

Gary Valentine:
No.

Jon Peters:
All of it. It's all mine.

Alana Kane:
Stop.

Gary Valentine:
What?

Alana Kane:
I can hear you breathing. Stop.

Gary Valentine:
Breathing?

Alana Kane:
Yes.

Alana Kane:
Are you asking me out?

Gary Valentine:
Yes.

Alana Kane:
I'm not going on a date with you, you're twelve.

Gary Valentine:
You're funny. I'm fifteen.

Gary Valentine:
Hello, gorgeous.

Alana Kane:
Hello, handsome.

Gary Valentine:
Come here often?

Alana Kane:
No, 'cause I'm not a teenager. I'm selling earrings for my friend JoJo.

Gary Valentine:
Is your bottom soggy? Having trouble sleeping?

Alana Kane:
Well, now that you mention it...

Gary Valentine:
Boyfriend trouble?

Alana Kane:
No boyfriend. So I don't really have trouble.

Gary Valentine:
Well, that's good.

Alana Kane:
[on the phone] What's your name?

Waterbed Ted:
Uh, Ted.

Alana Kane:
Ted.

Waterbed Ted:
Yes.

Alana Kane:
Oh, Ted, I love that name.

Waterbed Ted:
Okay...

Alana Kane:
My name's Alana.

Waterbed Ted:
Hi, Alana.

Alana Kane:
Can I come and install the bed for you?

Waterbed Ted:
What?

Alana Kane:
I'd lay it down and show you how it works. It moves in a similar way to the ocean... wet inside. And it takes some getting used to, but once you're in there, oh, Ted, I don't think you're gonna be asking any questions.

Waterbed Ted:
Sounds like you just sold a waterbed, Alana. Tell me, what time can you be over with that bed?

Alana Kane:
Oh, well. Eager. I have to wait until my work is done.

Waterbed Ted:
Oh, yeah?

Alana Kane:
Yeah. I have a mean, old boss that makes me work all day.

Waterbed Ted:
Why don't you tell Fat Bernie you have work to do and get out of there?

Alana Kane:
Oh. Fat Bernie is so mean, Ted.

Waterbed Ted:
Sounds like it.

Alana Kane:
He keeps me locked up inside. But you know what, Ted?

Waterbed Ted:
What's that?

Alana Kane:
I know you're gonna love our wet beds. You know what they come with?

Waterbed Ted:
What's that?

Alana Kane:
A wood headboard. And that wood is strong and sticks straight up against the wall.

Waterbed Ted:
That sounds great.

Alana Kane:
F*** off, teenagers!

Alana Kane:
I don't understand, but... I'm sexy, right?

Gary Valentine:
I met the girl I'm gonna marry one day, Greg.

Gary Valentine:
[Alana shows her b*obs] Can I touch them? [She slaps his face]

Jon Peters:
This is my nozzle, motherf***er!

Jon Peters:
There's no gas-o in the goddamn car-o, Steve-o!

Mary Grady =:
You're a goddamn f***ing fighter, aren't you? I like that. I can see that. You come here trying to be all pretty for me, but really, you remind me... of a dog. Of an English pit bull dog... with sex appeal. And... a very Jewish nose.

Mary Grady =:
You have a warm smile, which is very powerful. And... you have a very Jewish nose.

Rex Blau:
You shiny, gold, tall, inexpensive prick!

Joel Wachs:
All that we need are people in positions of power to remember to be who they were when they were voted in.