The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension

Buckaroo Banzai:
Hey, hey, hey - don't be mean. We don't have to be mean. 'Cause, remember: no matter where you go... there you are.

Buckaroo Banzai:
I've been ionized, but I'm okay now.

Buckaroo Banzai:
Evil! Pure and simple, from the 8th Dimension! Get 'em!

Buckaroo Banzai:
The missing circuit's in your head, Whorfin!

Buckaroo Banzai:
There are times when verbal ingenuity is not enough.

Buckaroo Banzai:
Nobody is nobody. Everyone has something to offer.

Buckaroo Banzai:
If all wishes were gratified, many dreams would be destroyed.

Buckaroo Banzai:
In my experience, nothing is ever what it seems to be, but everything is exactly what it is.

Buckaroo Banzai:
The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen all at once.

Buckaroo Banzai:
Treat us good, we'll treat you better. Treat us bad, We'll treat you worse.

Buckaroo Banzai:
I speak Spanish to God, French to women, English to men, and Japanese to my horse.

Buckaroo Banzai:
We have no special constitutional powers, unless you consider the extraordinary rights accorded every U.S. citizen by law, in which case we are amply empowered to go about our business.

Buckaroo Banzai:
Today's impossible is tomorrow's reality.

Buckaroo Banzai:
Mystery is the source of all true art and science.

Buckaroo Banzai:
Be cool, but care.

Buckaroo Banzai:
Si Vis Pacem, Para Bellum. (If you wish for peace, prepare for war.)

Buckaroo Banzai:
The only way to know if a man is trustworthy is to trust him.

Buckaroo Banzai:
The Mind's a funny thing . . . in the Summer it longs for Winter. In the Winter it longs for Summer. In the Spring . . . it heads for the Bahamas.

Buckaroo Banzai:
Know that, as in life, there is much that many have looked upon but few have seen because, as my father told me and his father told him, you will come to learn a great deal if you study the insignificant in depth.

Buckaroo Banzai:
Those in a hurry show only that the thing they are about is too big for them.

Buckaroo Banzai:
Nothing real can defeat us. Nothing unreal exists.

Buckaroo Banzai:
Progress Over Protocol.

Buckaroo Banzai:
The man who has ceased to fear has ceased to care.

Buckaroo Banzai:
Live like you're gonna die tomorrow and study like you're gonna live forever.

Buckaroo Banzai:
A battle won is a battle which we will not acknowledge to be lost.

Buckaroo Banzai:
Asking is a polite way of demanding.

Buckaroo Banzai:
A thousand pities cannot undo one thoughtless act.

Buckaroo Banzai:
A fool can throw a stone into the water which ten wise men cannot recover.

Buckaroo Banzai:
The Three Loves: love of others, the love of justice, and the love of freedom.

Buckaroo Banzai:
The Four Beauties: Mind, Language, Behavior, and Environment

Rawhide:
I tell ya, if it ain't one thing, it's somethin' else.

Rawhide:
{dying words} What are y'all lookin' at? You're on the clock. Let's saddle up, huh?

Lord John Whorfin / Dr. Emilio Lizardo:
Laugh(a) while you can, monkeyboy!

Lord John Whorfin / Dr. Emilio Lizardo:
Sealed with a curse as sharp as a knife: "Doomed is your soul and damned is your life."

Lord John Whorfin / Dr. Emilio Lizardo:
History is'a made at night. Character is what you are in the dark.

Lord John Whorfin / Dr. Emilio Lizardo:
Jesus Christo! make the ganglia TWITCH!

Lord John Whorfin / Dr. Emilio Lizardo:
Home. Home is where you wear your hat. "I feel so broke up...I want to go Home!"

Lord John Whorfin / Dr. Emilio Lizardo:
May I pass along my congratulations for your great interdimensional breakthrough. I am sure, in the miserable annals of the Earth, you will be duly enshrined.

Lord John Whorfin / Dr. Emilio Lizardo:
Banzai! I'll see you in HELL!!!

John Bigboote:
{repeated line} BigbooTAY!

John Bigboote:
Let's go back up to my office and talk about this like two reasonable beings.

John Bigboote:
Put the snot on the track, John O'Connor.

John Bigboote:
It's not my goddamn planet. Understand, monkeyboy?

President Widmark:
{reading from a printed form} "Declaration of War... The Short Form".

President Widmark:
Buckaroo, I don't know what to say. Lectroids? Planet 10? Nuclear extortion? A girl named "John"?

President Widmark:
What are you talking about, man? Some kind of race war in New Jersey?

John Parker:
Excuse me, Mr. President. Time is short. In order to prevent John Whorfin's escape, my comrades are at this moment takin' up a geostationary position over New Jersey. De situation is explosive!

John Parker:
There is little time. You better come quickly if your planet is still important to you.

Chase One Helicopter Pilot:
This is Chase One. We got his tracks. They go right up to a wall of rock. Holy sh*t!

Hospital PA System:
Lithium is no longer available on credit.

Penny Priddy:
I think I'm going crazy... Who's that girl, Buckaroo? What's going on around here? You drag me out of jail, you're... you're like Jerry Lewis, you give me hope to carry on, but... then you leave me in the lurch while you strap on your six-guns! What do you want from me, Buckaroo? Who am I?

Yoyodyne PA System:
The only joy is the joy of duty. Work... work... work...

Red Lectroid Spaceship PA System:
We are not in the Eighth dimension, we are over New Jersey. Hope is not lost.

Sign for Yoyodyne Propulsion Systems:
The future begins tomorrow.

From the "Pinky Caruthers Unknown Facts" DVD feature:
There is a term sometimes used at the Banzai Institute: The Three Bs, meaning the Bus, the Bath, and the Bed. That is where the greatest discoveries are made in science. When one is at his most relaxed, her most receptive... that is when a foreign consciousness, a "stray bullet" as B. Banzai calls it, may pop into one's head.

Radio communication:
Horizontal velocity is expanding, over.

Rawhide:
Dr. Banzai is using a laser to vaporize the pineal tumor without damaging the quadrigeminal plate. Subcutaneous microphones are gonna allow the patient to transmit verbal instructions to his own brain.

Doctor:
Like, "Raise my right arm"?

Rawhide:
...or, "Throw the harpoon." People are gonna come from all over. This boy's an Eskimo.

Buckaroo Banzai:
You ever thought about joining me full-time?

New Jersey:
Do you have an opening?

Buckaroo Banzai:
Uh-huh. Can you sing?

New Jersey:
A little. Yeah. I can dance...

Artie Duncan:
I don't care if you walked through a mountain in Texas. This is New Jersey, and when you play my...{distracted by someone walking past him}... when you play my joint, you're just another act. I want some music out'a you characters!

Reno Nevada:
You want it, Artie? You got it.

Penny Priddy:
Uh, Dr. Banzai, you... you forgot your thruster.

Buckaroo Banzai:
{smiles at her} Why don't you hold onto it for a while?

Penny Priddy:
{suggestively} Anytime...

Scooter Lindley:
Dad! Dad! Buckaroo's in trouble!

Casper Lindley:
Say what?!

Perfect Tommy:
Don't embarrass us.

Buckaroo Banzai:
Have I ever?

Buckaroo Banzai:
John Parker, take this wheel. Just... just hold on, that's good. It flies like a truck.

John Parker:
Good. {pause} What is a truck?

Buckaroo Banzai:
{as the thermopod is in free-fall} Can't you fly this thing?

John Parker:
I'm a diplomat! I failed flight school!

General Catburd:
Mr. President, I am a soldier. And I'm a damn good one. I've got enough decorations to snap a Christmas tree. All I'm trying to say is, and I hope I speak for everyone in this room, is that I am scared. I'm barely holding my... fudge, right now.

Senator Cunningham:
{a woman} Stop acting like a goddamn schoolgirl, General, and pull yourself together!

President Widmark:
I'm glad someone has the balls to face facts!

New Jersey:
Where are we?

Buckaroo Banzai:
I'd hate to tell you.

{As New Jersey and Reno are making their way through the lab, New Jersey notices a watermelon held in a pneumatic compression device}

New Jersey:
Why is there a watermelon there?

Reno Nevada:
{after a pause} I'll tell you later.

Scooter Lindley:
Get away from that car, or I'll drink your blood!

Secretary of Defense:
{noticing Scooter is holding an automatic rifle} Whatcha got there, son? That's not... real, is it?

Scooter Lindley:
{fires a shot to the side} Get 'em up!

Lord John Whorfin:
Full speed ahead. And may I remind you, to fasten your'a seat belts, and esstinguish all smoking material.

John Bigboote:
We haven't a chance. Your overthruster's for sh*t. We'll lose...

Lord John Whorfin:
One more word out of you, Bigbooty...

John Bigboote:
BIG-BOO-TAY! TAY! TAY! {Whorfin shoots him}

First Mission Control Operator:
Buckaroo, the White House wants to know is everything OK with the alien space craft from Planet 10 or should we just go ahead and destroy Russia?

Buckaroo Banzai:
Tell him yes on one and no on two.

Second Mission Control Operator:
Which one was yes, go ahead and destroy Russia... or number 2?

{New Jersey and Buckaroo are in an operating room, performing brain surgery}

New Jersey:
See, this is the part where for me it started to look like a problem. You know, I wanted to sacrifice the Precentral vein to order to get some exposure, but because of this guy's normal variation I got excited and all of a sudden I didn't know whether if I was looking at the Precentral vein or one of the internal cerebral veins or the vein of Galen or the Basilar vein of Rosenthal. So on my own, me, at this point I was ready to say, "That's it. Let's get out."

Buckaroo Banzai:
See, you can check your anatomy all you want, and even though there may be normal variation, when you get right down to it, this far inside the head, it all looks the same. {pause} No, no, no, no. Don't tug on that. You never know what it might be attached to.