The Back-up Plan

Dr. Scott Harris:
I have a feeling you and CRM-1014 are going to make beautiful babies together.

Stan:
I love you.

Zoe:
[throws up into sink]

Stan:
Not the answer I was looking for.

Zoe:
Sorry I didn't get a pedicure

Dr. Scott Harris:
What?

Zoe:
Er, my toes I'm sorry

Dr. Scott Harris:
I'm not looking at your toes, I'm looking at your cervix

Zoe:
Right, now I kinda wish you were looking at my toes

Zoe:
[Zoe gets in a taxi cab] Oh, excuse me this is my cab

Stan:
What you own it?

Zoe:
No, but I'm about to rent it

Carol:
Okay, alright, [claps] . Welcome to single mothers and proud. As the names suggests we are all single, mothers and erm, proud.

Stan:
it's been 2 weeks now, all she ever wants to do is sleep with that pillow!

Playground Dad:
The pillow is a b*tch, its totally replacing you right?

Stan:
Totally completely, she drags it everywhere.

Playground Dad:
My wife, she drew eyes on hers so when i went to make a move in the middle of the night the pillow is staring at me, like uh uh bro, I don't think so.

Baby Store Sales Clerk:
[Looking at baby strollers] It's a bit overwhelming huh?

Stan:
There are so many and they are so... big!

Baby Store Sales Clerk:
Well they have to be big, 2 babies right?

Stan:
Yeah but babies are small, these are for like giant mutant babies

Baby Store Sales Clerk:
Well you should see some of the babies that come in here, total fatasses

Playground Dad:
It's awful, awful, awful. Then a small moment happens, that's so magical. That makes it all worthwhile.