The Nine Lives of Fritz the Cat

Fritz:
Hey, you know the most interesting thing about smoking is that it causes excessive perspiration, and a person has to take off all of their clothes, or they could drown to death in their own juices.

Fritz:
Oh, Jesus Christ! Lucifer's a f*ggot!

Fritz:
My achin' swastika! I thought bein' a nazi was all "zig, zig," and "sieg heil!" This is for sh*t! I better get my ass the f*** out of here!

Fritz's Old Lady:
You're a no-good, Fritz! Whaddya have to say fer yerself?

Fritz:
Suck my dick!!!

Fritz:
Ah, freedom of the pass.

Crow Reporter:
Hey, Fritz Baby, Wanna talk to Walter?

Fritz:
Sure, why not?

Walter:
Fritz…does being the first to set foot on Mars-golly-kind of give you goose bumps?

Fritz:
Ahem. Gentlemen, I've been up and down the four corners of this big old world, and I've seen it all, and I've done it all. I've fought many a good man and laid many a good woman. And I've had riches, fame, and adventure, too. Yes. I've stood eyeball-to-eyeball with death countless times and never, never once squinted. Oh, I've tasted life to the fullest, and still my tortured soul cries out - more! More! Oh, sh*t! Oh, oh, God, can there be any more?

Crow Reporter:
How do it feel, Fritz? I mean, man, like Mars ain't around the corner.

Fritz:
Oh you're so right. Hey, would you like to discuss this in private? Gee, you got a lovely pair of eyes.

Crow Reporter:
In private?

Fritz:
Mm-hmm. Yeah, sure. Listen, doll, I'd kind of like to give you a break. You know, kind of help pay back for what my people did to your people.

Crow Reporter:
Yeah? What kind of a break?

Fritz:
Well you know, an exclusive-an inside story.

I've come a long way, baby!