Urusei yatsura

[repeated line, to Ataru]

Shinob:
You flirtatious scum!

[closing song lyrics]

Lum:
Let's put weird and weird together, and make it even weirder! Weird, weird space is super-weird! Hold on. What? What? Something's weird! Hold on. What? What? Something's definitely a little weird! If it gets weird, it becomes fun! Hearts pop up and fly away into the night sky! Let's put weird and weird together, and make it even weirder! Weird, weird space is super-weird! Super-weird! Terrible!

[opening song lyrics]

Lum:
Don't get so fidgety! You're always looking all over the place! Stop looking away from me! More than anyone else, I love you, love you, love you the best! Love you, love you, love you! Love you, love you, love you! On nights when the stars are twinkling, I dream all about you. I love you, but you act like you don't know. I bet you're crazy for someone else by now! Ah! Men all have so many loves. Ah! You're spreading them all over, and making me worry! Don't get so fidgety! You're always looking all over the place! Stop looking away from me! More than anyone else, I love you the best! Love you the best!

Kintaro (alien nursery school visitor):
[to Ataru] You're a simpleton whose reasoning abilities are totally primitive!

Ten:
He's not only primitive, but clumsy, satyric, flirtatious, and to top it all off, a moron and a total pervert!

Moroboshi Ataru:
Geez! What a bunch of little brats!

[teacher is taking alien nursery school on a tour of "famous places"]

Alien nursery school Teacher:
Over there is the famous telephone pole! Here's a garbage can, sometimes called a plastic garbage can! Pretty neat, isn't it?

Ten:
This is what you call a famous place?!

Kintaro (alien nursery school visitor):
Teacher, please don't embarrass me!

Alien nursery school Teacher:
What's the matter, Kintaro?

Kintaro (alien nursery school visitor):
Just 'cause we're kids, don't think we don't know better! At the very least, take us to Tokyo Tower or Nijubashi! Or if not that, how about taking us to an anime studio?

Kintaro (alien nursery school visitor):
[after trying to kill Ten] I know I was wrong! Without a doubt, I'm low! Everything about me is full of shame! Oh! Curse this destiny of mine! I'm lower than the beasts!

Ten:
Well, you don't have to go that far.

Kintaro (alien nursery school visitor):
[now on his knees, sobbing] I don't have anything more to say to you, no matter what you say to me!

Ten:
Stupid! Idiot! Simpleminded fool! Bald-headed liar! Egghead!

Ten:
[running away from Kintaro, who is suddenly wielding his axe again] Hey, you said you weren't gonna get mad!

Kintaro (alien nursery school visitor):
[angrily swinging axe] I only said that I didn't have anything to say in reply! I'm a kid of action!

[repeated line]

Ataru's Mother:
Oh, I never should have had him.

Ran:
[to Lum] I'm going to stay on Earth and hide the fact that I'm an alien until after my revenge is completed. And if you reveal what I really am, I'll tell everyone about the time you stayed at my house and wet my bed!

Ataru Moroboshi:
[Speaking English to an American sunbather] Hi! I'm Ataru Moroboshi, Number #1 Japanese boy! Please date with me!

[Ten uncovers his spaceship in the woods]

Ataru Moroboshi:
Is that...

Ten-chan:
Yeah!

Ataru Moroboshi:
...your potty?

Ten-chan:
You idiot! It's the top of the line for kids!

Ataru Moroboshi:
You really are like Dracula.

Lum:
Why?

Ataru Moroboshi:
You hate garlic, have fangs, and you suck the blood of a beautiful young man.

Lum:
Who's a beautiful young man?

K?mori:
Master! Master! Hey Master! Master what are you being so sulky about?

Count Dracula:
What do you mean "what"? Who dumped garlic in my coffin?

K?mori:
I'm sorry. But that was only because you just wouldn't get up.

Count Dracula:
I'll admit to being a bad riser, but garlic, of all things?

K?mori:
Next time I'll use a cross!