Wizard

Haley:
She packed it in. She was a showgirl. Great legs. I got her legs, what do you think?

Lucas:
Hey, it's the wizard! I hope you don't get nervous like last time. We wouldn't want you to..."wiz" on someone!

Sam:
I don't believe this. I got the scroll weapon, and I almost beat Mecha-Turtle at the end of level three!

Corey:
It's like the Adventures of Link. He has to find Zelda, you have to find a house. Same difference!

Haley:
Boy, is THAT sexist.

Corey:
It's not sexist! It's... romantic.

Corey:
So, according to this, we're in Goblin Valley. Great. I mean, I mean, I mean... it couldn't be Happy Valley or Wonderful Valley. Goblin Valley. Why not, Axe Murderer's Valley?

Putnam:
Alright, I'm looking for a couple of kids. This one's a mental case, have you seen them?

Pinball Teen:
Does he dress like you?

Putnam:
No.

Pinball Teen:
Then he can't be too much of a case, alright?

Corey:
Yeah, well, uh, just keep your Power Gloves off her, pal, huh?

Corey:
50,000! You scored 50,000 points on Double Dragon?

Lucas:
I love the power glove, it's so bad.

Lucas:
I love the Power Glove. It’s so bad.

Nick:
That cannot possibly be one of the four major food groups

Sam:
It's a casserole genius.

Nick:
Pop I think we got it.

Sam:
Wait a second. I'm on the sixth palace of Hyrule. Yeah! I got past the river devil.

Nick:
Terrific.

Sam:
What the hell are you doing? I had the magic key. I got the cross. I was closing in on the barbarian!

Nick:
You're losing it pop.

Sam:
Hey where the hell are we?

Nick:
What is that? Donuts?

Sam:
Yeah. So?

Nick:
That's disgusting.

Sam:
Ha ha. From the guy who steals my pickup, who stays up drinking. From the guy with a foul mouth, that's a compliment.

Corey:
Two tickets to California.

Corey:
Is Los Angeles specific enough?

Putnam:
All right! All right! This is no need to get crazy. It's very hot. This is a professional matter.

Sam:
Yeah!

Nick:
You know Bateman, I always knew that you were a jerk. I just until now thought that it was guilt by association.

Putnam:
I want all of your driver's license numbers! All of you! I want your driver's license numbers!

Putnam:
Oh my god!

Putnam:
I touched her breast! She doesn't have breasts!