Jeff Dunham: Arguing with Myself2006

Peanut:
It's hard to talk to somebody if you're not looking right at them.

Jeff Dunham:
I know.

Peanut:
That's like trying to talk to somebody who has a lazy eye; you don't know which eye to focus on. You ever done that? You're sitting talking to them, thinking "aw, crap. Should I be looking at *that* eye or *that* eye?"

[Peanut holds his hand to his mouth in consideration]

Peanut:
"FOCUS, YOU MORON!"

[laughter, as Peanut does the "over the head" movement with his hand]

Peanut:
[off Jeff's look] What?

Jeff Dunham:
What if someone here has a lazy eye?

Peanut:
I'll confuse them.

[moving around on his stand]

Peanut:
Here I am. No, I'm here. Here. Here. Here.

[laughter, as Jeff covers his face in embarrassment]

Jeff Dunham:
I'm sorry.

Peanut:
You know what pesto is?

Jeff Dunham:
Pesto. It's the stuff that goes on salad and pizza...

Peanut:
No. Pesto.

Jeff Dunham:
What?

Peanut:
It's a magician with a harelip.

[laughter]

Peanut:
[lisping] Pethto!

[laughter]

Peanut:
Da da da! Pethto!

Jeff Dunham:
What if someone here has a harelip?

Peanut:
[to audience] Thorry!

Jeff Dunham:
Oh, stop it!