Jeff Foxworthy: Totally Committed1998

[to the single people in the audience]

Jeff Foxworthy:
I know you're probably saying "well, we've talked a lot about getting married, none of this applies to me. I'm not ever getting married. Nope, not the kid. I'm just gonna date, date, date, date, date, date, die.

[whoops and hollers]

Jeff Foxworthy:
Yeah, well that's what we all thought. Then you wake up one morning, you're staring at a mortgage, two kids, and a mini van going "How'd the hell this happen?"

[laughter]

Jeff Foxworthy:
"I was just trying to get laid!" Well, that's how it happens!