Sarah Silverman: Jesus Is Magic2005

[Sarah extricates herself from the awkward situation with her friends, marches down to her car, and begins to sing:
]

Sarah Silverman:
There I go again with my big mouth. / Spouting off like I got something going / I wrote a show - and it's playing tonight? / I'm so full of shit, man, what was I thinking? / I gotta write a show but how'm I gonna do a show / When I don't even have a show to write! / I never wrote a show / But if I ever wrote a show / I bet that all of them would know / And think it bites! / Do you know what? F*** them. / I could write a show. / I could write a show. / I'll just, I'll just do it. / I'll write a show. / All it takes is elbow-grease, and I could write a show / I'll write a show tonight / I hope I do it right. / I could take this mixed-up world and put it in a show. / I'll write a show, all right. / And have it by tonight. / All I need is a theater space / And a bag of weed / And a star. / A star! Great! Good job, Sarah, I'm writing a whole show for tonight; I don't even have a star! / Who's gonna be my star? / She's gotta be pretty and she's gotta be smart / She's gotta be funny and she's gotta be hot! / She's gotta have a perfect smile just like me / I just need a star, but who could it be?

[a band suddenly appears and sings, "Julia Roberts"?]

Sarah Silverman:
Mm, nah.

[the band sings, "Nicole Kidman"?]

Sarah Silverman:
Are you kiddin', man?

[the band sings, "Sandra Bullock"?]

Sarah Silverman:
[mockingly] Sandra Bullock?

Sarah Silverman:
[singing again] She's gotta be the kind of girl that just blows your mind / She ought to be better than those three twats combined! / She's gotta have a thing that you just can't define. / Whoa! Me. It's me. You're beautiful. [She starts to kiss her image in the mirror, then stops] No. Not like this. All right. I'll do it. / I got what it takes, got what it needs / I'm what a show needs! / I, I'll show 'em all, / Little ol' me, I'm what the world needs! / Hear the train comin', it's comin' for me / I'm goin' to Star Town! / The train's comin', it's comin' for me / I'm gonna be a star now!