The Happy Ending1969

Mary Wilson:
I've found the secret formula: IF you look and smell right, IF your hair is the right color, if you drive the right car, smoke the right cigarette, if your bosom is big, and firm, and fully packed, and your breath is sweet and your teeth are bright, then you'll find love, marriage, and be happy forever... if - IF - you promise never, but never, to grow old.

Sam:
Why not? It's the American Dream.

Mary Wilson:
I thought that was money?

Sam:
Love and money are related by marriage.

Flo:
Daddy, what's marriage?

Sam:
Business. BIG business. The U.S. economy depends on marriage.

Mary Wilson:
Not U.S. Steel?

Sam:
Marriage. Once, people saved up to get married. Now, there's credit. Credit means buying. That means stores, shipping, buildings, factories... Marriage means sex. Beauty. Luxury. Diamonds. Furs. Perfumes. Cars. Gifts for her. Gifts for him. Gifts for Them. Marriage means a home. That means painters, plumbers, carpenters, furniture, rugs, curtains, linens, silver, dishes, electric washers, driers, mixers, fixers, stoves, clocks, radios, T.V.'s - thirty billion dollars every year, just to get married... If marriage is made in heaven, a broken marriage is financial blasphemy. Bachelors, divorcees, widows and homosexuals are unprofitable... and that makes them Un-American.