The Shipping News2001

Quoyle:
[reading the newspaper] This is from the "News of you Neighbors" column. "The pole on the corner of Main and West Streets has a sign on it that says it's illegal to place anything on that pole. We see the postman has landed in the clink for throwing the mail in Killick-Claw Harbor. He said he had too much to deliver and the folks could just take a dip and help themselves. Guess it helps if you can swim."

Quoyle:
This is professional stuff. How am I supposed to write this?