Young Adult2011

Matt Freehauf:
Buddy is a married man. By all accounts, happily.

Mavis Gary:
Yeah, happily married men go to bars alone with their ex-girlfriends all the time. They call them privately and they make out with them on porches.

Matt Freehauf:
He did not make out with you.

Mavis Gary:
You weren't there. We made out. It was intense and passionate. He gave me his sweatshirt.

Matt Freehauf:
Yes, I noticed. They probably noticed in space. And FYI, you look completely insane wearing it. Look, I don't know what Buddy's doing with you or what you think he's doing with you, but you need to move on.

Mavis Gary:
You're one to talk. All you care about is some scuffle that happened 20 years ago. You lean on that crutch and you lean on excuses and you and I both know that you use this whole thing as an excuse to do absolutely nothing with your life.

Matt Freehauf:
Scuffle. You don't know sh*t about what happened to me. Okay? Those jocks you used to blow during lunch, they shattered my legs, bashed in my brains, mangled my cock so that I have to piss and cum sideways for the rest of my life. Then they left me for dead. You know, things aren't too great down south. I can barely get off by myself let alone with another person.

Mavis Gary:
You know, what's done is done. You can't keep dwelling on the past, Matt.

Matt Freehauf:
Are you f***ing kidding? Talk about dwelling on the past. Here you are back in Mercury, like a loser, trying to score with a happily married man.

Mavis Gary:
Buddy's not happy, okay? So just stop saying that.

Matt Freehauf:
You're hardly the authority on happiness, Sylvia.

Mavis Gary:
You know what, Matt? It really is a shame that you're like this because if you had a good personality none of this other stuff would bother people.

Matt Freehauf:
Why don't you use my crutch again as a metaphor? That was brilliant. That was masterful. Or no, save it for your little teenage stories because God knows you don't know sh*t about being an adult!