Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues2013

BBC Anchor:
Wait! Here's a headline for you: "Moronic Yank Wank-orman Gets a Bloody Good Hiding From Newsreader From a Superior Country." For we are the BBC News Service! [BBC news team shouts]

Ron Burgundy:
Oh, not now!

Jack Lime:
[To his news team] Fall back, fall back.

[MTV news team rappels down]

Wesley Jackson:
If y'all gonna get down, then Wesley Jackson and the MTV news crew want in!

Brian Fantana:
What's "MTV"?

Ron Burgundy:
I think it's a venereal disease.

Wesley Jackson:
The most requested video of the day: A new band called "Burgundy sucking chest wound"! [MTV news team shouts]

[Entertainment News team arrives on a dune buggy]

Jill Jansen:
It wouldn't be a battle without Jill Jansen...

Wendy Van Peel:
And Wendy Van Peel, from Entertainment News.

BBC Anchor:
Entertainment News is an abomination!

Wendy Van Peel:
Who are you wearing today? Oh, look, it's your own blood!

Jill Jansen:
Today's celebrity birthdays: None. Today's celebrity deaths: All you dick-licks!

Brian Fantana:
I like how they're put together.

Champ Kind:
I like fighting girls.

Jill Jansen:
I like to c*nt-punt cowboys.

Wendy Van Peel:
You eat p*ssy?

Jill Jansen:
You're gonna.

Scott Riles:
HEEEEYYY! There's not gonna be any fight without Scott Riles and the incredibly polite Canadian News Team. [Canada News Team shouts]

Quebec News Anchor:
What about the French-speaking Quebec News? The real voice of Canada!

Scott Riles:
Give it a rest, eh?

Champ Kind:
Give me a break! They can't have news. Nothing happens in Canada!

Scott Riles:
We're gonna mop the floor with ya! We're gonna put the boots to ya! Sorry.

Quebec News Anchor:
Sorry. We're gonna gouge yer eyes out, and kick yer head in!

Scott Riles and Quebec News Anchor:
Sorry!

Brick Tamland:
...I like your ginger ale!

[ SportsCenter theme plays]

Jeff Bullington:
Jeff Bullington, ESPN, all sports. Tonight's Play of the Day is me, extracting your spine from your dead body!

Brian Fantana:
Holy sh*t, there's a lot of news!

Ron Burgundy:
It's true, the market has become saturated.

History Network Host:
Hey! The History Network wants in on this. We're news too! Only news told much, much later! [History Network team shouts]

Ron Burgundy:
Wait a minute, is that the ghost of Stonewall Jackson with you?

History Network Host:
Yes, it is. And the mighty minotaur!

Jack Lime:
Eh, I don't know about this, man. The minotaur isn't even history. It's mythology!

Ron Burgundy:
Hey, let's not downplay the fact that that's the ghost of Stonewall Jackson!

Ghost of Stonewall Jackson:
May the Lord anoint this hallowed field of battle.

Mack Tannen:
You guys got room in this battle for an old war horse?

Ron Burgundy:
Mack Tannen? What are you doing here, you're too old for this!

Mack Tannen:
Well, you see, there's the thing: When there's an early moon, I almost feel like a stallion again!

Champ Kind:
He's on our side, right Ron?

[Tannen transforms into a werewolf]

Ron Burgundy:
He's a were-hyena!

Wesley Jackson:
I'm gonna call Michael Jackson, I got a video idea!

Ron Burgundy:
Alright, everyone, listen up! By virtue of being on this battlefield, there is no return! People will die!

Jill Jansen:
[Quietly] I'm so horny right now.

Ron Burgundy:
Some will be disfigured! In some cases, lasting friendships will be made! And as usual: No touching of the hair and face!

Scott Riles:
C'mon! What do we look like, rookies?

Scott Riles and Quebec News anchor:
Sorry.

Ron Burgundy:
When El Trousias, Maiden of the Clouds, blows the battle horn, let the battle begin!

El Trousias:
I am El Trousias! Hear my sirens song! [Blows her horn]

Jeff Bullington:
El Trousias...the juiciest, hmm!

El Trousias:
[Finishes blowing her horn]...That means you can start.