The Boat That Rocked2009

Young Carl:
I think I might have had a little too much to drink last night.

Thick Kevin:
Actually, I find alcohol rather sharpens my mind.

Young Carl:
[amused] Really?

Thick Kevin:
Yes, and I was thinking...

Young Carl:
Dangerous.

Thick Kevin:
...that it's a bit weird for your mum to send you here to get you on the straight and narrow when this is obviously the worst possible place in the world to do that. There's sex and drugs and alcohol.

Young Carl:
Without the sex.

Thick Kevin:
And so I think you're here because it's exactly the right time for a young man, like you, to get to know his dad.

Young Carl:
[pause] And?

Thick Kevin:
I therefore think your dad is somewhere on this boat. And since it's definitely not me, I think it's probably Quentin. Sometimes, just sometimes, I think I should have been called Clever Kevin. What do you think about that? [rolls over and rolls off the bed]