30 Rock2006

Kenneth Parcell:
NBC had the first two black characters on TV... sort of. For "Alfie & Abner," NBC hired one African-American and one Caucasian because they thought two black people on the same show would make the audience nervous; a rule NBC still uses today!

Tracy Jordan:
[Scene changes to a black & white 1950s TV show, Alfie & Abner. Tracy Morgan enters dressed in fine clothes as Alfie] Abner, I'm home from work! Where are you, my brother?

Abner:
[Entering in ragged overalls with dirt on his face and an afro wig: a blackface character:] Here I is, Alfie!

Tracy Jordan:
[Offended:] Aw hell no, I'm not doing this!

Kenneth Parcell:
[Scene changes back to Kenneth and the TGS crew] NBC received a lot of complaints... that the show wasn't on often enough. So they forced Theodore Freeman to honor his contract.

Abner:
[Walks in carrying a large catfish] I's done stole'd dis catfish!

Tracy Jordan:
Sir, I'm asking you as a human being to please stop talking like that!

Abner:
I's gon' eat it until I'm belly-full!

Tracy Jordan:
This is debasing to the both of us. I was a Tuskegee Airman!

Abner:
Zip-a-dee-doo-doo!

Tracy Jordan:
You may anger me, but I believe non-violence is the path to change.

Abner:
I believe you can catch a rainbow in yo hat!

Tracy Jordan:
I'll kill you, you ignorant cracker!

[Breaks a chair over Abner's head, knocking him out]

Kenneth Parcell:
[Cuts back to the TGS crew, Kenneth still telling the story:] Believe it or not, they did not stop doing the show. which made for tense but thrilling live TV!

[Cuts back to "Alfie & Abner," where Alfie and Abner sit across from each other in awkward silence. Abner is obviously scared to death. Alfie is waiting for Abner to say something, giving him a death glare. Abner looks at Alfie, not sure what to say. Finally, after a long, awkward silence:
]

Abner:
BANJO!

[Alfie tackles Abner, and the screen cuts to a "Technical Difficulties" message]