3rd Rock from the Sun1996

Dr. Dick Solomon:
[looking at Coach Strickland] You're the one who didn't want him sitting with the girls, right? I think he's just jealous because I've done so much better than he has.

Teacher #1:
Dr. Solomon, no one ever said being a father is easy.

Dr. Dick Solomon:
You're telling me. I mean, some of you must have children. [turns towards Coach Strickland] As frightening as that thought is. What do you do?

Mr. Kersey:
You need to set a good example for your son to live up to.

Dr. Dick Solomon:
Since when did my son become my responsibility? I mean, you're the ones who are falling down on the job. You're supposed to be educating him. Knowledge is the only chance this planet has for survival. One day, you're gonna have to find someone to pull your collective butts out of the cosmic pliers and all you'll have to choose from is a bunch of rope climbers!

Teacher #1:
Dr. Solomon, I think you're avoiding the real problem. The home environment.

Dr. Dick Solomon:
Well, of course I'm avoiding it! It's full of crazy people!