Barney Miller1974

Det. Phil Fish:
[talking about Kelly] He was probably snooping around into our personnel files and came up with something really big.

Capt. Barney Miller:
Like what?

Det. Phil Fish:
Like the fact that I cheated on my income tax.

Capt. Barney Miller:
When was that?

Det. Phil Fish:
About nine, ten years ago. I went to a police convention in San Francisco, and I deducted all the expenses for Bernice.

Det. Sgt. Nick Yemana:
There's nothing illegal about that.

Det. Phil Fish:
Yes, there is. I didn't take Bernice.

Capt. Barney Miller:
Did the I.R.S. find out about it?

Det. Phil Fish:
Yeah, they disallowed it and they took it out the next year.

Capt. Barney Miller:
Well, if you're straight with the government, Kelly can't hurt you.

Det. Phil Fish:
I'm not worried about Kelly, I'm worried about Bernice.