Death Battle2010

Wizard:
While common gorillas have impressed the scientific community by using basic tools, Donkey Kong is a little beyond that.

Boomstick:
Yeah! He's got a shotgun! Like, I know it looks like he's just carrying around a log, but no, seriously, it's a boomstick that Funky Kong somehow made out of a tree, that fires concussive homing coconuts!

Wizard:
It can fire in spurts and if he shoots ya, it's gonna hurt. At least, that's what the DK Rap tells us, but what it doesn't tell us is that the series of grunts you hear from the Kongs is actually them speaking their own language.

Boomstick:
Really? I wonder what he's saying... [clips of the Donkey Kong Country show are shown, with Donkey Kong saying, "Banana Slamma!"]

Wizard:
Mostly just that. Sometimes he sings, too.

Boomstick:
What the hell? Okay, I know I watched some of this show, but I do not remember there being any musical numbers, like, at all!

Wizard:
Oh, there were two in every episode, forty episodes in all. Your brain likely shut down watching to protect your fragile consciousness.

Boomstick:
Good one, brain. I owe you a beer.