Death Battle2010

Boomstick:
[about Donkey Kong] He apparently expands his power by using both his bananas and... his body hair, like a monkey Burt Reynolds. If he gets a haircut, though, he loses his power and looks really weird.

Wizard:
Wow... I... Wow. Well, perhaps DK's cranial deformity is linked to his greatest weakness. You see, Donkey Kong is kind of an idiot.

Boomstick:
We're talking about an ape who didn't realize he was following his own treasure map, until after he found the bananas it led to.

Wizard:
Or, while suffering from amnesia, a pirate crocodile was able to convince him that he was a crocodile, through song and dance. Donkey Kong joined in, singing about physical features he clearly does not possess.

Boomstick:
He's also just as lazy as he is stupid. One time, he and Diddy were making a killing selling frozen coconuts and could've had all the bananas they ever wanted, but the simple task of just cracking coconuts open all day was too strenuous for the big ape, so he sold the business for a couple measly bananas.

Wizard:
Bananas are the only motivator that seem to work on DK, but they're also the only one he needs to bring out the big guns.

Boomstick:
If something separates him from his precious fruit stockpile, someone is going to die!