Homicide: Life on the Street1993

Lt. Al 'Gee' Giardello:
Let me get this clear in my mind: what you want me to do is section off a non-smoking area for the two of you, right?

Sgt. Kay Howard:
Not just for the two of us; for many non-smokers.

Lt. Al 'Gee' Giardello:
Uh-huh. Where are all these non-smokers?

Sgt. Kay Howard:
If you build it, they will come.

Lt. Al 'Gee' Giardello:
Is that right? Where do you suggest I find the space to create... to build this non-nicotine field of dreams? The coffee room? Would that suit you?

Sgt. Kay Howard:
You'd give us the coffee room?

Lt. Al 'Gee' Giardello:
Sure. I give you permission to post a notice. YOU put up a sign to ban all cigarette smoking in the coffee room.

Det. Tim Bayliss:
No, I think that the coffee room is sacred to the guys, Gee.

Lt. Al 'Gee' Giardello:
You're not as dumb as you look, Bayliss.

Det. Tim Bayliss:
[Genuinely touched] Thanks, Gee.

Lt. Al 'Gee' Giardello:
Coffee and nicotine, mom and apple pie, hot dogs with mustard, sex and latex... somehow, you mess with any of the combination of those, you take your life in your hands.

Sgt. Kay Howard:
There's a statute from OSHA that mandates that no smoking areas be designated in each and every public working place.

Lt. Al 'Gee' Giardello:
[Chuckling] Oh, OSHA, huh? All right. There are federal statutes and state statutes and city statutes mandating that people curb their dogs, play their stereos at a reasonable volume, and respect the office of the presidency, but who cares about any of that? [Chuckles] OSHA.

Sgt. Kay Howard:
You refuse to enforce a federal law?

Lt. Al 'Gee' Giardello:
Yes, I do. I most certainly do.

Sgt. Kay Howard:
Gee, sometimes being in command means issuing unpopular orders.

Lt. Al 'Gee' Giardello:
Are you calling me a coward?

Det. Tim Bayliss:
No no no no no, sir.

Sgt. Kay Howard:
No.

Lt. Al 'Gee' Giardello:
Sure, you are.

Sgt. Kay Howard:
No, I'm not. I...

Lt. Al 'Gee' Giardello:
In so many words you're saying I'm too scared to put up a cigarette ban in this squadroom. I watched Crosetti try to quit smoking. Crosetti without smoking is an unecessary terror. You may be right: I may be a coward. But you may be right and needlessly stupid and reckless at the same time. Now, get out of here, both of you.