Married with Children1987

Griff:
Are things really that bad?

Al Bundy:
Yes, things are that bad. Married men, whether separated or divorced, can never go back to being single. See, there's this gene, it's called the single gene. It's in us when we're born. But as soon as we marry, it mysterously disappears. Nobody knows why, but I suspect it's removed chromosone by chromosone by our wives.

Griff:
And how would they go about this?

Al Bundy:
Do we really know why they own so many tweezers?

Griff:
So, Al, if they don't like us being single, why do they keep kicking us out of the house?

Al Bundy:
That's part of their cruel tricks. See, without the single gene, we're helpless. We just wonder around smelling of Rogaine and gin, until finally we fall off our toilets and die.