Monty Python's Flying Circus1969

Hungarian Immigrant:
[reading from book] I will not buy this record, it is scratched.

Tobacconist:
No no no, this is a Tobacconist's.

Hungarian Immigrant, Tobacconist:
Ah!

Hungarian Immigrant:
I will not buy this Tobacconist's, it is scratched.

Tobacconist:
No no no no. Tobacco, um... cigarettes. [Holds up pack of cigarettes]

Hungarian Immigrant:
Ah, cig- cigarettes. [looks in book] My hovercraft is full of eels.

Tobacconist:
What?

Hungarian Immigrant:
My hovercraft [mimes holding a cigarette] is full of eels [mimes stricking a match]

Tobacconist:
Oh, matches, matches...

Hungarian Immigrant:
Yah! [looks in book] Do you want... Do you want to come back to my place. Bouncy bouncy!

Tobacconist:
I don't think you're using that right.

Hungarian Immigrant:
You great poof!

Tobacconist:
Uh... That'll be six and six, please.

Hungarian Immigrant:
If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? I... I am no longer infected.

Tobacconist:
May I see that? [takes book from Hungarian, looks through it] Yander levasa gadenui stravenka. [Hungarian punches him]

Police Officer:
[comes running in] What's goin' on 'ere, then?

Hungarian Immigrant:
Ah! [looks in book] You have beautiful thighs.

Police Officer:
[looks at his thighs, then up again] What?

Tobacconist:
[pointing at Hungarian] He hit me!

Hungarian Immigrant:
Drop your panties, Sir William. [points at Tobacconist] I cannot wait 'til lunchtime.

Police Officer:
Right! [arrests Hungarian]

Hungarian Immigrant:
My nipples explode with delight!