Mystery Science Theater 30001988

Dr. Forrester:
Ah! Robinson, Servo, Mr. T. Robot! Our invention this week is inspired by this week's experiment, "Attack of the Giant Leeches". In ye olden times, alchemists believed that leeches served medicinal purposes.

TV's Frank:
So do we!

Dr. Forrester:
Uh, yes um, we found that the common fresh water leech uh, can serve the same purpose as a nicotine patch, and being neither food nor drug, there's no pesky FDA regulation to impede your progress and I can experiment at will. Frank?

TV's Frank:
At your service.

Dr. Forrester:
Our subject, Frank, has been trying to quit smoking for quite some time. He's a three pack-a-day man.

TV's Frank:
No I'm not!

Dr. Forrester:
Yes you are, shut up. Now this leech, we'll call him Patches...

TV's Frank:
Yah!

Dr. Forrester:
When applied to the neck or head area, will suck any desire to smoke out of Frank.

TV's Frank:
No, no, no, no! No! No! No, I'm the sum of my vices! I have my pain, my happiness, my losses, my love! My struggles, my hobbies, my lent! I want to live! I want to live! I want to live! And love! And learn! And live!

Dr. Forrester:
But this won't hurt a bit.

TV's Frank:
Oh, Ok.

Dr. Forrester:
Uh, there you go. Now, Patches, I'm depending on you, ya slug!

TV's Frank:
Say, this is the most action I've ever got.