Peep Show2003

[Mark and Jeremy are in a field with Sophie's dad, who is using a metal detector and wearing headphones]

Jeremy Usborne:
So come on, Mark, why haven't you told her yet?

Mark Corrigan:
Shh! He can hear.

Jeremy Usborne:
He can't hear.

[to Ian]

Jeremy Usborne:
Can you, you big fox-hunting, badger-baiting, tweed shirt, bumf*** homophobe?

[Ian turns to them, taking his headphones off]

Jeremy Usborne:
[voiceover] Oh, sh*t.

Ian Chapman:
[holding up a bottle cap] Bottle cap. Another one for the collection.

[he puts his headphones back on and carries on with the metal detector]

Jeremy Usborne:
So, come on. Are you having second thoughts?

Mark Corrigan:
I don't know, maybe. I mean, she's so nice. So what if I don't really love her? Charles didn't really love Diana and they were all right. Sort of.

Ian Chapman:
[still wearing his headphones] You don't really love Sophie?

Mark Corrigan:
What? No.

Ian Chapman:
That's what you said.

Mark Corrigan:
No, I didn't.

Ian Chapman:
Yes, you did.

Mark Corrigan:
No, no, because of distortion, there was probably a buzz. There might an ancient Saxon coin right here...

[he gets down and starts sifting through the mud]

Ian Chapman:
Stop it, Mark. I heard every word. And for the record, Jeremy, I may be a homophobe, but I'm no badger baiter.