Stewart Lee's Comedy Vehicle2009

Interviewer:
You've become a sort of traffic warden for their laughter. You're sort of going; laugh for five seconds - stop. This one's really hilarious; make a lot of noise. I mean, I've seen you do that for hours.

Stewart Lee:
I know, well, the laughter is in the room like a resource that's bottled up. My job is to decant... to decant enjoyment from a collective body of people. But, to decant it at a rate that is just enough to eke out half an hour of laughs for BBC2.

Interviewer:
It's like being a surgeon. It's a trepanning sort of... Your a man with a drill.

Stewart Lee:
It's like being a surgeon or someone that milks semen out of a pig for, um... for artificial insemination. The laughter is like the pig semen and the audience are the genitals of the pig, and the comedian is the person milking the pig semen out with a view towards selling it on for use in industrial farming techniques.