The Soup2004

Himself - Host:
Joss, you've come by to tell me something very important.

Joss Stone:
I have. It's very serious. Um, Joel McHale, I am very mad at you.

Himself - Host:
Why? What did I do wrong?

Joss Stone:
Well, I watch the show every week, and you never mention me. And I would like to know why.

Himself - Host:
Well, have you just gotten out of rehab?

Joss Stone:
No.

Himself - Host:
Do you have a DUI?

Joss Stone:
No.

Himself - Host:
Did you get knocked up by a rock star or a backup dancer?

Joss Stone:
No.

Himself - Host:
Did you ever do any time? Shave your head? Tape a sex tape? Is anybody after your kids? Do you have a show on E? Is your father Michael Lohan?

Joss Stone:
No.

Himself - Host:
Well, see, there you go, Joss: you are way too well-adjusted to be on our show. Now, if you want to get on "The Soup," you've got to get out there, get freaky, and start acting like a rock star.

Joss Stone:
Oh. That's it? That's all I gotta do?

Himself - Host:
That's it.

Joss Stone:
All right.

Himself - Host:
And if you're a celebrity who'd like to be on the show, pick up our helpful guide "How To Ruin Your Life And Become A Punchline On 'The Soup.'"

Joss Stone:
Okay, wicked. Okay, I'll be needing that.

Himself - Host:
Here you go. Oh, here's your bottle of vodka.

Joss Stone:
Oh, thank you. I'm going to be needing this, right?

Himself - Host:
And here are Ryan Seacrest's car keys.

Joss Stone:
Excellent. I'm on my way up in the world!

Himself - Host:
See you on "The Soup," Joss.